Make Your Relationship Work Are you having trouble with your sweetie, or just wanting to spice up your healthy relationship? Relationships require time and effort, whether your love is on the rocks or you're on cloud nine. If you're willing to put in the work, these easy tips can help you take your love to a new level. Steps 1 Figure out if your relationship is worth saving. The sad truth is that many relationships have passed their expiration date--if you try to save them, you'll just end up getting hurt. There is no easy trick to answering this question; you'll know in your heart if you're with "the one" or just "the one I've been dating for five years so I might as well stick with it." Here are some red flags to let you know that your relationship may be approaching a dead end: •If one or both of you have a history of being unfaithful to each other, then the damage you have done may be beyond repair. •If you find yourself constantly attracted to other people, or even fantasizing about dating another person, then you may have lost that feeling for your current love interest.•If you suspect your loved one just doesn't make you want to be a better person. If nothing about the relationship makes you want to grow, then you may have become too complacent for that spark to stay lit.•If you're in the relationship because you're afraid to be alone or because you don't think you can do much better. This is a sign that you feel more anxiety than love.•If you refuse to ever leave your significant other because "it would hurt him/her too much." The longer you wait to call it off, the more hurt your loved one will be, and if you know it just doesn't feel right, then you're not doing your significant other any favors by sticking around.•If you are afraid to introduce your significant other to new friends or family members because you're worried they won't get along. Do you really want to date someone you can't show off to your friends and family? It's one thing if your significant other is just shy, but if he or she can't get along with anyone else in your life, it can be a deal-breaker.2Look through the windshield, not the rearview mirror. In order to move forward in your relationship, you have to absolutely stop obsessing over your loved one's past--as well as your own. If you're too hung up on whether or not he's still gaga over his ex from high school, or if your old ex is dating someone new, then you'll never be able to strengthen your bond. •Avoid asking too many questions about your loved one's past relationships, and definitely avoid snooping through his things or looking online for hints about his past. Not only will this make you worried for no reason, but if he finds out, it won't speak well of your confidence for the new relationship.•As for your own exes, you don't have to cut off contact with them unless it's necessary, but do try to minimize contact, especially when you're starting a new relationship.3Share your passions. It's important to have common interests other than your love for each other. At first, passion may be enough to keep your love going, but once your relationship matures, it's important to share common interests or activities so that your relationship stays fresh. •You should work on sharing hobbies, whether you bake desserts every Sunday, or find a TV show that no one likes but you two.•Have a couple culture project. You can decide to watch at least one movie together a week, or have your own mini-book club. That way, you can motivate yourself to learn new things and have something to talk about.•Make time for fun for fun's sake. Not everything you do as a couple has to make you more interesting or talented. There's nothing wrong with sharing a pitcher of beer and hitting up a local pool table once in a while.4Share your passions--but not all of them. Though it's important to have shared interests with your loved one, it is just as important to have your own interests. •Do you love yoga while he likes swimming at the local pool? Do you like getting together with your girlfriends to dance to 80s music, while he likes meeting his bro-friends at the local bar to watch football? Great! It's important to maintain your own identity while building an identity as a couple.•And it's just as important to spend the night with your sweetie hanging out with friends as it is to have some alone time regularly. Both of you absolutely need it in order to maintain your own interests, as well as to realize how grateful you are when that loved one is around.5Learn to compromise. It's important to stand up for what you believe in--but only to a point. If you're sick of sushi but your girlfriend has been dying to try the new Japanese place on date night, give in but ask if you can pick the movie. •But always remember that it's important that both people are willing to make a sacrifice. If you find yourself always giving in to your loved one's needs, big or small, it's time to have a talk.6Follow your own pace. The biggest mistake you can make is putting your foot on the gas to catch up with all the speeding cars--you'll end up crashing and burning. •Just because your impulsive best friend has shacked up with her boyfriend of three weeks doesn't mean that you and your boyfriend have to go apartment hunting ASAP.•Even if all of your friends and their pet fish are getting married, it does not mean that you are ready to take the plunge.7Communication is key. If something is bothering you, it's important to let your loved one know so you can tackle the problem together. •Pick the right place and time to have a talk. Even if there's something really important that you want to say to your sweetie that feels like it can't wait, you won't be able to have the conversation you want to have if you try to talk at a loud concert, or the minute after your significant other got some bad news at work. Make sure you are both sitting down and looking at each other to have the conversation to avoid distractions.•Use the right tone to get heard. If you begin the conversation in an aggressive manner, your significant other is likely to get defensive. Be as calm and rational as possible, even if you're feeling angry. This will let your significant other actually hear what you have to say.•Don't be too confrontational. Try saying, "There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about," instead of, "We have to have a talk--now!" This will still show that what you have to say is important, but will cut down on the drama.•Don't let the small things build up. If you want to avoid having big serious talks all the time, remember that if something small ticks you off, you can tell your significant other without making a big deal about it. That way, you can avoid being passive aggressive or having the tension build up, and can move forward while understanding each other's needs.•However, it's also important to know when to lay off--if you're bothered because your boyfriend accidentally put your milk away in the cabinet, there's no need to nag him, especially if he's had a rough day.8Even if your love is rock solid, your loved one should not be taken for granted. Remind yourself how lucky you are to have found your soul mate, but that it'll take hard work to make the relationship thrive. •No matter how busy your days are, try to find the time to have a conversation when you're both away from your computers, phones, and televisions. It's important to make time for each other even if everything is going well.•Do something completely new together as often as you can, whether its taking a dance class or making your own gnocchi, to avoid getting into a rut.•Compliment your significant other at least once a day. For bonus points, find something new to say every time!

Teaser For The Nite; Understanding Your Man; When he says he needs his space, what does that exactly mean? Does it mean he wants to break up? Does he need time to give more attention to his life or work? Usually when a man says he needs his space, he needs his space away from you. There is something in the relationship that isn't sitting right with him.... Some men use the need space line as a way to let you down easy. They have decided that they don't want to continue with the relationship and they are hoping you will just end it for them and save them the trouble of being the bad guy. Sad but true. Still you wonder why he would want to end it and why not just tell you he wants to end it instead of saying "he needs space". The main reason though that a guy feels he needs space is because he is sensing that you are ahead of him in the relationship of more invested. Perhaps you have giving him most of your time, are always available and he feels he is fast becoming the center of your Universe. This is scary for not only a man but for any human being that is emotionally pretty healthy. When he starts to feel you are depending on him for a level of your well being, he feels you may begin to or already have set up expectations. Maybe you expect him to call everyday, maybe you expect him to spend most of his free time with you. Maybe you expect him to always greet you with terms of endearment. Regardless, a man has to give to you because he wants to and if he feels it is expected, it just won't be the same for him. When a man tells you he needs space, he is telling you to slow down. He is telling you to not depend on him. He is hoping you won't fall apart when he asks for it. If he says he needs space, give it to him, and get busy with your life. If he doesn't come back around in a week or so, you have your answer and you know which of these reasons he needs his space. This is why it is so important to space the relationship and not begin to invest your everything into a man too soon. It will back fire on you and he will begin to feel smothered or trapped. Take more responsibility for your own happiness. Men love happy women. Pls Like & Share Written By Ariwoola Temitayo Issues

Morning Teaser for 15/11/2013... Courtesy:Dr Issues in Dating... Teaser For the Nite ... Twelve ways to know that you are in a wrong relationship 1. When it is all about emotions and feelings but lacks purpose of partnership 2. When it constitutes a distraction to your initial goals and vision 3. When it contradicts your values and personal convictions. 4. When you have to fall out of love with God and his word just to stay in love with him/her 5. When you have lost your peace and assurance from God concerning the relationship and your attempts at fixing it fails miserably. 6. When the relationship lacks common likes, common passions, and common convictions, and the areas of conflicts overwhelm and overshadow the areas of compatibility. 7. When one of you is a desperate move to rescue or make over the other person. 8. When the timing, the manner or the pattern by which the foundation for the relationship was laid was crooked, corrupt, and conflicting to the laws of purity, the laws of sexual attraction, and the laws of relationship. 9. When you are the only person that sees something good about it. When all your friends, family, pastors, colleagues are all worried about it, except you. 10. When your haste to commence the relationship is greater than the need to sit down and plan for the relationship and you seem so careless to the details of what you are going into. 11. When the things you do, permit or goes on in the relationship has become like the secrets of a cult that must never to told to anyone and you even proceed to swear to that effect using a drink, blood or saliva. 12. When you are forced to remain in the relationship despite your clear intention to quit and you have become a victim of depression, guilt, blackmail, “manage me anyhow”, and “I have nowhere else to go.” Good morning, Dr Ariwoola Issues.

Courtship Is Not A License To Sexual Immorality! Don't proof your love for a man by giving him sex otherwise you will end up in shame and regret. Many singles have had their dreams, life and marital destinies shattered due to premarital sex. Premarital sex is not a proof of love! If Sex is a proof of love, prostitutes would have been happily married! Stop giving sex to hook and keep a man! Brothers, stop destroying single sister's life with your manhood! Stop allowing your erection to determine your direction. Stop deceiving sisters with promise of marriage in order to shatter their lives! There is always payback time! Sisters, trust in God! Don't sell yourself. Do not put yourself in a situation where you have to beg someone to stay at the expense of your dignity slowly walking away. If it's meant for you, you won't have to beg for it. You will never have to sacrifice your dignity for your destiny. seek God more than you seek a spouse....as you... seek HIM and His kingdom, all things are added to you! Matt 6:33. Singles, Stop pursuing looks, shapes and using your body for attention. Stop kissing, neckling, snuffing, romance, erotic contacts, fumbling and actual sex. Honestly, if we all obey God strictly, the devil will lose his battle over marriages! Teaser for the Nite Choosing A Life Partner Must Be Based On Love and Personal Conviction From The Holy Spirit Not On Sympathy, Money, Sex, Tribe, Frustration, Parental Choice, Competition Or Age. Dr Issues in Dating

Ariwoola Temitayo Before You Say "I Do": A Checklist for Smart Women, Pt 1 Dr.Issues in Dating 12/11/ 2013 I'm happy to report that I'm riled up again. This is a good thing, because it makes me do useful stuff, like finishing books and writing this here article. It's not a good thing because usually what gets me riled up is a good woman stuck in a bad spot. Not so long ago, I met such a woman. She's smart, educated and dazzlingly beautiful. Her poems attest to a nimble intellect, an expansive soul and an observant eye for the truth. A rare individual. What I did not understand was how she got married to a man who ended up abusing her, cheating on her and blaming his cheating on her ("This is what you deserve"). She had two children with him and is still going through a rancorous divorce two years after separating, putting her in a tough spot financially and emotionally. How does crap like this happen to good women -- smart women who know better? How do the warning signs elude them? Well, it can happen in a lot of ways: You fall in love, put your frontal lobe in a jar and marry a guy you later on find you don't know all that well. Some dude pursues you so doggedly that you just give up after a while. You're stuck in a bad living situation and use marriage as an escape route. Your parents treated you poorly so you marry a guy who fits that love template 'cause it feels like home, albeit a lousy one. The reasons for women marrying the wrong guy are as numerous as the millions of divorces filed in Nigeria every year. But if divorce is a disease, then a little bit of prevention may have forestalled many of them. Consider this short checklist below as a little bit of a vaccine then. Since you ladies have more to lose, you should be vigilant about your choice of mate. A 'starter marriage' can derail your career path, saddle you with children you can hardly support, kill the carefree idealism that made you so appealing, tax your mental health, and consume your ultimate irreplaceable asset -- your youth and beauty. Do I have your attention now? Oh good. One disclaimer before we start: having never been a married woman, I do not speak from firsthand experience. However, I do know good choices from bad ones, so here are some principles to help you decide better: 1) Do not say yes if you're deeply in love. Is it a good idea to buy a car if you're drunk? Is it a good idea to put an offer on a house when you're high as a kite? Then it's also not a good idea to accept a marriage proposal if you're in love with someone. What?!? Isn't that the reason to get married? Isn't this the culmination of every white-wedding dream you've had as a kid? No, no, no and hell no, sister. That's some weird bill of sale that the romance books have sold you. Up to very recent times in human history, that's not why people got married. And, judging from the 50%+ divorce rates in this country, it's not a very good reason to do so. Why? Because the most reliable aspect of falling in love is that you will fall out of it. Guaranteed. On average after 18 months, according to scientists. Generally, you should not make big-ticket decisions in a state of acute intoxication. And being in love is very much a state of acute intoxication. Brain imaging studies of people in love show that their mind functions as if they're kinda nuts. Whole parts of executive judgment just plain fall out of your cranium. What should you do instead? Wait. Being in love is drunkenness and impaired judgment. It tends to peak early, then decline -- regression to the mean. Real love tends to build over time, not decline. Only if the crazy love has already worn off, you still find yourself putting up with his smelly socks and nocturnal flatulence, and somehow think he'd make a fine father for your children, then go for it. Marriage is a vast edifice deserving of a strong foundation. Don't build it on the flimsy leaves of infatuation. 2) Do not marry a man you've known less than 18 months. Since I know most of you are going to ignore the first principle, at least give yourself this escape hatch. 18 months is the average time it takes to fall out of love -- i.e., about the time it takes for the fog to clear from your eyes and to see the guy for who he really is. Sure, doing something impulsive can be fun sometimes: "Let's go to the Shotgun Chapel in Vegas and get married!" Kind of like going bungee-jumping on a dare when the bungee cord is broken, or if there is no bungee cord at all and you're just heading into a freefall splat. Hmmmmmn Guys make for poor impulse buys. Keep your impulse buys to small things, like a teddy bear or piece of Teuscher chocolate, not men who can potentially ruin your whole life. 3) Get a prenuptial agreement -- especially if you're making good money. This advice used to be the sole domain of men, but times have changed. A survey revealed that women in Nigeria make more money on average than the men. whom are you going to find who makes more than you? Now I know you're different. And I know you and your boy really, really love each other. But you know what? Nobody goes to the altar not really, really loving each other at that moment. Hate to break it to ya, but it ain't all that special. So take a deep breath, recognize your humanity (read: fallibility) and concede that, in this country, you've got a 50-50 shot for making this work. Girl -- you have no idea who you're marrying until you marry him. It's like trying to practice swimming on dry land: no amount of preparation does you any good until you take the plunge. So be smart about it. And if you truly love him and love yourself, line things up beforehand to avoid a rancorous split should things go sour. Divorce is a terrible, awful, miserable thing -- especially if there are worldly goods, pets and children involved. And if you've been smart, savvy and industrious enough to build yourself some wealth, protect your life's work. You do not want to be paying alimony to some unemployed deadbeat you no longer like, let alone love. Do u need more of this inspiring words?talk shows,seminars for singles?call Dr Issues in dating now!!!!!

WISDOM FOR SINGLES Never Marry A Stranger! Take Your Time To Know the person you want to spend the rest of your life with! Pray to God... to unveil him or her to you! A saint on facebook maybe a star in the kingdom of darkness! Don't be carried away! Inspiring facebook profile is not enough for you to say "yes" I Do" Let your pastor or marriage counselor investigate him or her! It is for your own good my dear! A deacon in the church maybe a dragon at home! A president of the youth fellowship may not be a resident of heaven. That dedicated worker in the church may be a dedicated worker of iniquity! That quiet singer may be a quiet serpent. Be patient, lest you marry a saintly prostitute or a tongue-speaking home boxing champion! Check the way people relate with him or her. Ask questions! Do not hide your feelings

Ariwoola Temitayo CO-INCIDENCE OF LIFE: 1. CHURCH has 6 letters so does MOSQUE . 2. BIBLE has 5 letters so does QURAN. 3. LIFE has 4 letters so does DEAD.... 4. HATE has 4 letters, so does LOVE. 5. ENEMIES has 7, so does FRIENDS. 6. LYING has 5, so does TRUTH. 7. HURT has 4, so does HEAL. 8. NEGATIVE has 8, so does POSITIVE. 9. FAILURE has 7, so does SUCCESS. 10. BELOW has 5, but so does ABOVE. 11. CRY has 3 letters so does JOY. 12. ANGER has 5 so does HAPPY. 13. RIGHT has 5 so does WRONG. 14. RICH has 4 so does POOR. 15. FAIL has 4 so does PASS 16. KNOWLEDGE has 9 so does IGNORANCE. Are they all by Co-incidence? We should Choose wisely, this means LIFE is like a Double-Edged Sword. Have a great day nd b a Positive Thinker....

Permit me this time around to start with this quote... ""Meaning resides in Man and not in words"" Something comes to my mind wen I tell pple closer to me that I love dem...off course,its now a National anthem being sang by all and sundry..Yet,only few knows the strenght of the great word.... If a guy who nvr ask u out tells u as a lady he loves u,what meaning would u reside to this poem?... Does smtin tells u behind that he is in love and hasn't told you or dnt know how to tell u.... Dr issues does that,I mean,I tell Ladies,fans that I love this... This little write up will simply put u through..Courtesy,Dr Issues Ariwoola. Hmmmmn, I LOVE YOU" and "I DON'T LOVE YOU" I love you is a deep expression of your affection to someone whether relatives or love ones e.g spouse, fiance/fianceè e.t.c. Over the century, the statement now has various conflicting impressions and when someone tells you I love you or I don't love you; you need to LOOK BEYOND THE STATEMENT. When Rebekah saw Isaac for the first time, even at a distance away before formal introduction, they both CONNECTED immediately. I am confident to say it was not love at first sight because LOVE GROWS WHEN NURTURED only ATTRACTION gets you nearer to people. Gen.24:62-65. Nowaday the statement has become a GENERAL CHORUS, I love you could mean I want your money, I want to have sex with you e.t.c. I DON'T LOVE YOU! This statement means different things to different people. I don't love you to some people could mean *You are short * You are not rich * You are not handsome/ beautiful * Your spoken english is not sound *You are not social *You have local accent *You have no job *You don't dress well *I don't have feelings for you because we are not emotionally compatible *I don't like being seen with you *I don't miss you when we are apart. * You are not from my state of origin e.t.c. Love goes beyond affluence and physical beauty, it is a thing of the HEART. Don't say it when you don't mean it well. Hope this is helpful? DR ISSUES ARIWOOLA.