MANAGING ISSUES WITH MOTHERS IN LAW
BY ARIWOOLA TEMITAYO.O
in a facebook chat today with a close friend Called Bose,I learnt lessons. Even beyond my knowledge..""
She is callous at me,I need to withdraw frm the relationship before its late..bose said.
She shouts at me,call me names I dnt like,and threaten me to leave her son alone....I can't leave him cos I love being by his side always....what shd I do Ariwoola?
I came with this research!!!!!!
Your in-laws are a crucial part of your spouse's life. This makes them a crucial part of your life as well. No one ever said it was easy to balance your needs with the needs of others -- especially the needs of an entire new family. But creating family harmony is possible -- and it's very much worth the effort.
You realize it won't be easy to build bridges -- and rebuild some that have been burnt -- but you also realize that it's a valuable way to spend your time. The return you get on your investment will last the rest of your married life. Here are some ideas to get you started.
Work with your spouse.
This is the key rule, dealing effectively with in-laws all starts with first working conflicts through with your spouse. Remember, you're in this together.
Never put your spouse in a situation where he or she has to choose between you and a relative. If you do so, you're putting your spouse in a nearly impossible bind. Instead, try to understand the bond your spouse has with his or her grandparents, parents, and siblings. If possible, try to support that relationship. Even if your spouse has parents from hell, they are his or her parents.
Family Matters
A happy marriage is not like football; there are no successful end-runs in this game. Never go behind your spouse's back when you deal with in-laws. And don't tolerate it if your spouse does.
Don't Go There
Don't confuse listening and responding. You're not obligated to do something just because your in-laws want you to, but you should acknowledge their input. People get pushy when they feel you're turning them down without really listening, so they tend to scream louder. Maybe then you'll hear them!
Set boundaries and limits.
With your spouse, decide what's important and what's not. For example, we let our kids eat anything they want anytime.…as long as you eat a reasonable dinner.." Working as a team, set your family values. Then communicate your values to your in-laws. All of your values and all of your in-laws.
Speaking of boundaries, don't make promises that you can't keep.
FOR MORE INFO,KINDLY VISIT OUR WEBSITE;www.issuesindating.blogspot.com
BY ARIWOOLA TEMITAYO.O
in a facebook chat today with a close friend Called Bose,I learnt lessons. Even beyond my knowledge..""
She is callous at me,I need to withdraw frm the relationship before its late..bose said.
She shouts at me,call me names I dnt like,and threaten me to leave her son alone....I can't leave him cos I love being by his side always....what shd I do Ariwoola?
I came with this research!!!!!!
Your in-laws are a crucial part of your spouse's life. This makes them a crucial part of your life as well. No one ever said it was easy to balance your needs with the needs of others -- especially the needs of an entire new family. But creating family harmony is possible -- and it's very much worth the effort.
You realize it won't be easy to build bridges -- and rebuild some that have been burnt -- but you also realize that it's a valuable way to spend your time. The return you get on your investment will last the rest of your married life. Here are some ideas to get you started.
Work with your spouse.
This is the key rule, dealing effectively with in-laws all starts with first working conflicts through with your spouse. Remember, you're in this together.
Never put your spouse in a situation where he or she has to choose between you and a relative. If you do so, you're putting your spouse in a nearly impossible bind. Instead, try to understand the bond your spouse has with his or her grandparents, parents, and siblings. If possible, try to support that relationship. Even if your spouse has parents from hell, they are his or her parents.
Family Matters
A happy marriage is not like football; there are no successful end-runs in this game. Never go behind your spouse's back when you deal with in-laws. And don't tolerate it if your spouse does.
Don't Go There
Don't confuse listening and responding. You're not obligated to do something just because your in-laws want you to, but you should acknowledge their input. People get pushy when they feel you're turning them down without really listening, so they tend to scream louder. Maybe then you'll hear them!
Set boundaries and limits.
With your spouse, decide what's important and what's not. For example, we let our kids eat anything they want anytime.…as long as you eat a reasonable dinner.." Working as a team, set your family values. Then communicate your values to your in-laws. All of your values and all of your in-laws.
Speaking of boundaries, don't make promises that you can't keep.
FOR MORE INFO,KINDLY VISIT OUR WEBSITE;www.issuesindating.blogspot.com
