MANAGING ISSUES WITH MOTHERS IN LAW
BY ARIWOOLA TEMITAYO.O


in a facebook chat today with a close friend Called Bose,I learnt lessons. Even beyond my knowledge..""

She is callous at me,I need to withdraw frm the relationship before its late..bose said.
She shouts at me,call me names I dnt like,and threaten me to leave her son alone....I can't leave him cos I love being by his side always....what shd I do Ariwoola?
I came with this research!!!!!!

Your in-laws are a crucial part of your spouse's life. This makes them a crucial part of your life as well. No one ever said it was easy to balance your needs with the needs of others -- especially the needs of an entire new family. But creating family harmony is possible -- and it's very much worth the effort.

You realize it won't be easy to build bridges -- and rebuild some that have been burnt -- but you also realize that it's a valuable way to spend your time. The return you get on your investment will last the rest of your married life. Here are some ideas to get you started.

Work with your spouse.

This is the key rule, dealing effectively with in-laws all starts with first working conflicts through with your spouse. Remember, you're in this together.

Never put your spouse in a situation where he or she has to choose between you and a relative. If you do so, you're putting your spouse in a nearly impossible bind. Instead, try to understand the bond your spouse has with his or her grandparents, parents, and siblings. If possible, try to support that relationship. Even if your spouse has parents from hell, they are his or her parents.

Family Matters
A happy marriage is not like football; there are no successful end-runs in this game. Never go behind your spouse's back when you deal with in-laws. And don't tolerate it if your spouse does.
Don't Go There
Don't confuse listening and responding. You're not obligated to do something just because your in-laws want you to, but you should acknowledge their input. People get pushy when they feel you're turning them down without really listening, so they tend to scream louder. Maybe then you'll hear them!
Set boundaries and limits.

With your spouse, decide what's important and what's not. For example, we let our kids eat anything they want anytime.…as long as you eat a reasonable dinner.." Working as a team, set your family values. Then communicate your values to your in-laws. All of your values and all of your in-laws.

Speaking of boundaries, don't make promises that you can't keep.
FOR MORE INFO,KINDLY VISIT OUR WEBSITE;www.issuesindating.blogspot.com

Photo Of The Day:- Give This Kind Of Kiss A

Don’t be Jealous… Look and give it a name.
I name it “Crocodile

Help!!! I Found Condoms In My Fiance’s Bag Again – Female Naijaloadite Cries Out

Below is what she sent:-
Hi guys,
I have been dating my fiance for 3 years now. In the beginning everything was cool until recently. About a month ago, I found condoms an, empty pack of condoms in his bag, I confronted him about it and he told me he saw the pack on

 

How To Know She Is A ‘Runs Girl’ Without Meeting Her In Person

1. Her online picture centers less on her facial beauty, she focuses more on showing to the world her feminine possession and endowment: hips, hot body, b0sso-ms etc.
2. Her profile pictures do not in anyway ‘synergies’ with the various locations as portrayed in the pictures: some of the pictures conspicuously show her in different room locations and arrangement (only those with critical pictural* analysis can spot this).
3. When you add her as a friend on Badoo or other social network, it will take her nothing less than 30 minutes to reply your message. (This shows that many clients are lined up online), and even when she replies you, her reply sometimes is a let down from your painstakingly written introduction.
4. When you tell her you are interested in her and you would love to be her friend, she goes like, “Friend as in, what do you want?”. Some of them after accepting your friend request would simply reply to your numerous questions with this sentences: Badoo – ‘What is your desire?’ BBM – ‘What do you want from me?’ Facebook – ‘What can you offer?’ and on it goes…
5. She only gives you little attention when you lie to her that you work with some of the well known and respected companies and business brands in Nigeria.
6. When you try to see how n*ughty she can be by sending her le-wd and r-aw messages, she simply replies your message with this, ’till you come’.
7. She is a sleeping devourer who only gets awakened and alerted by money and all the good things that come with it.

8 Things Guys Do That Show Ladies Are In Control Of Their Lives

There is a limit to everything in life most especially when it comes to relationship and marriage because if the function of a man is switched, people will term the lady in his life as a witch.
This is why it is advisable for couples or “couples to be” not to overstep their boundary when displaying love as the gossips, the broken hearted and perhaps those who mean well will term such guy as a slow poke person.
Going straight to the business of the day, let’s take a brief look on things guys do that show ladies are in control of their life.
1. Becoming her errand boy/puppet
When men were boys, ladies used me as their puppet by sending me to buy food, fetch water and others. My friends made jest of me, calling me lover boy and reported me to my parents that I am under chioma’s spell. grin
2. Suffering and Smiling Attitude
Some ladies are in the habit of abusing guys for no reason most especially if he is broke or too dumb to express his emotion. If a guy who used to be affluent and jovial becomes broke, ladies will ridicule and ruin his reputation in public as people will believe that his destiny has been nailed on a tree by her.
3. Emptying his account or pocket for her
I hate it when guys in their right senses empty their account for ladies to make Brazilian hair, buy expensive phones and other worthless purposes albeit him begging for N50 recharge card, garri, etc. wink cheesy
4. She eats assorted meals while he drinks water during date
Wonders shall never end as some guys exhibit pretence during date by drinking pure water while the lady he is asking out eats all sort of assorted meals. No doubt if this act continues, people will ask if the guy is mentally sound.
5. Helping her to attain good grade in school while he is on probation
This act is common in school where shallow minded guys act like machos by helping ladies to write test and assignment at the detriment of their success. This is perhaps one of the reasons why ladies are getting good jobs after school meanwhile guys with poor grades are struggling to get common cement lifting jobs. grin grin
6. Washing her under wears
I pity the life of some guys who believe that this act is out of love because apart from the fact that his image will be tarnished, those around will see him as a retaarded individual.
7. Loosing her hair regularly
Some guys are fun of this act which on regular occasion will attract insult from the society as people will advice such guys to visit MFM for deliverance. grin grin
8. Neglecting football match in order to satisfy her regularly
I have seen a die-hard football fan who became a “hommie” during live matches because his girlfriend told him to choose between football and her.
What amuses me is that this guy always satisfy her in terms of attention, care, money, etc but when a match is about to commence, this is when she starts nagging about him not respecting her feelings.

 

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Don’t Kill Yourself Over Anything Today (Read This Interesting Article)

• 
  

I vividly recall the story of a man who became popular for engaging in money rituals just to buy the 80’s edition of the Honda Prelude; you can buy that car for 50k today…..Vanity
A guy brutally murdered his brother, just because he wanted to acquire the rave of the moment – Pathfinder Jeep. That same vehicle is now better described as a coffin…. Vanity
I remember as a kid, my whole street gathered at a neighbour’s house to watch a”drama” shown on a “double-door black & white television”. Today there is plasma television and its almost found in every student’s room….. Vanity
Some ladies left their true loves because some rich guy then persuaded them with a Benz 190, which turned out to be the only car they ever owned till date. They found out too late that true love is invaluable….. Vanity
What about Santana, Mercedes Benz V boot, 505 Evolution, Toyota Crown?… All overtaken by latest models of Camry, Honda, Bugatti, Bentley, X6, Venza, Acura and Infinity…. Vanity!
A guy declared drinks because he launched the Nokia-3310 phone in 2002. Today that phone would embarrass the owner and is a joke compared to the low cost and everyday phones….. Vanity
What about the Celtel SIM card that many people went extra miles before they bought for over N15,000 today you will not buy it for even more than N200 because all d networks are begging people to even take it for free…. Vanity
People are still making the most horrific sacrifices over ‘vanity’ and make enemies over worthless material things. What can I say? Look back at that one thing you want to kill or die for today, and see what becomes of it tomorrow. There is absolutely nothing you can’t achieve. … Take it easy!
Most of the then lucrative job before are those the one that are roaming about the street now looking for any job to do
All you need is a little time and PATIENCE and you would thank God without regrets. There is actually nothing in this world that is worth going to Hell or die for, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
The End.
READ ALSO:- Checkout This Interesting True Life Story – You Will Enjoy It

5 Questions You Need To Ask Yourself Before Going Into That New Relationship

• 
  

Summer has come to an end. Fall is upon us. I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to 60-degree weather. It allows for fashionable layers and cuddle sessions that don’t involve skin sticking to a leather couch.
Fall is certainly a great season to be in a relationship. But your relationship will fail if you’re not in it for the right reasons — no matter the season. To help prevent that from happening, I wrote up a list for you guys.
Unless you can answer these five questions correctly, you should stay away from dating. Buy yourself a sweater or two to keep warm.

Am I who I need to be?
When people think that adding someone to their lives will make them better, relationships fail. Instead, focus on making yourself better. Though finding that special someone will improve your life, you can’t rely on it.
A partner isn’t a solution to your problems. Your partner is there to simply be with you. And if you’re not the person you need to be, you’re bound to hit rough waters.
Sometimes it is possible to find yourself while you’re seeing someone. But the opposite is usually the case, and you come to know yourself best when you’re not in a relationship.
This is why “It’s not you; it’s me” is such a popular breakup line. We rush into relationships before we find ourselves, only to have to break things off because we realize that we aren’t yet ready. We aren’t yet the people we need to be.
Our journey doesn’t need to be travelled entirely alone, but parts of it must be. Be sure that you are who you need to be before you get yourself into a relationship.
If your partner is the one, but you’re not yet who you need to be, the relationship will fail. And it’s going to hurt.
Do I have it in me to make it work?
Our eyes are much hungrier than our stomachs. We reach for glory, understanding that the journey will be a struggle. But we throw in the towel when the struggle begins. Of course we want love, a partner and the security of a relationship. But few of us have it in us to make it work.
The only way to know whether you have it in you to make it work is if you’ve experienced the struggle before. This is the struggle of balancing being an individual and being a team member (The “team” in this case is your relationship — hopefully a loving, caring one).
If you are an inexperienced lover, the chances of making it work are slim to none. I’m sorry to tell you that, but it’s true.
It is not until you understand the compromises and sacrifices that need to be made — and are willing to make them happily — that you can make the relationship work.
Do I love myself, or am I relying on my partner’s love for me?
People have an intrinsic need to feel love and compa$$ion. Without it, we’re incomplete, unhappy and unfulfilled. We need love to feel like we’re good people. I know how basic that sounds, but not everyone in the world feels this.
And even when they do, they still want confirmation from others. They want to know that others see them as the wonderful people they believe they are.
The problem is that some of us don’t necessarily believe that we’re good. Some believe that they’re flawed, bad, damaged or deformed (physically or spiritually). And these people still need to be loved.
But you can’t go out and find love from others if you haven’t yet figured out how to love yourself. Unless you learn to love yourself first and foremost, you’ll never find your fairytale love. It’s literally impossible.
You’ll either latch onto your partner in an unhealthy way, or you’ll refuse to believe that someone could love you when you can’t even love you. I’ve seen it happen, and it broke my heart.
Am I in this for the right reasons?
Some of us date because we believe it’s what we’re supposed to do. Some of us date because we’re bored. Some of us date because we want to have $ex and think that being in a relationship is the healthiest way to do this.
People date for countless reasons, but there’s only one right reason.
If you’re thinking about getting into a relationship, you need to do this only when you’ve found the right person.
You don’t have to be 100 percent certain of your choice, but you do have to believe there is a good chance this person is the one you’ve been seeking.
Relationships exist to make our lives better, happier and more fulfilling. Not only do they allow us to experience happiness; they also let us share in someone else’s.
Deciding to be in a relationship in order to get over your ex — or for any reason other than to find true love — is, simply put, wrong.
Is my partner in it for the right reasons?
Things can fall apart even when you’re in the right place in life, in the right mindset and in the relationship for the right reasons. It takes two to tango, and even if you don’t have two left feet, your partner very well may.
Life and love would be much simpler if the people in relationships were always on the same page. We would save ourselves so much heartache and prevent many tears. But that is not reality.
No matter how amazing you are or how ready you are for commitment, things aren’t going to work out if your partner isn’t feeling the same way. You can love someone with your whole heart, but if that person isn’t ready, then it won’t work. I’m sorry.
I wish I could tell you about something that you could do.
In the end, I realized that two people — no matter how much they love each other — sometimes just can’t be who they need to be for the love to last. It’s not your fault or your partner’s; it’s just the way the cards were dealt.

OMG! Just Imagine What This Lady Did To Her Boyfriend (Photo)

Ladies, allow your man see your face the way it is to make a wise decision. Stop the deceit please. Lol!
The Husband don enter one chance

 

Reasons You Should Never Force A Relationship On A Lady

This ‘letter’ has two purposes: To Warn and to Advice.
The Warning Part
A friend once told me of how a guy was pestering her life with all manner of suggestive texts and suspicious gestures, trying to FORCE her into an unscrupulous relationship.
I was pissed because my dear was being threatened and more pissed because he was ignorantly stubborn hoping he could date someone like my friend- who’s got morals.
Some guys of today, go around with the malicious mindset that the size of their m*****d can substitute the size of their “mindhood”. Simply put: Don’t build your life around No girl- It’s not worth it. Build around a worthy goal and all these other things shall be added unto you It’s plain illiteracy to go after a girl that way!
The Advice Part
This is like the body of this thread; REASONS YOU SHOULD NEVER FORCE YOURSELF ON ANY GIRL, in view of a relationship.
Quickly, let’s see a few:
1. All ladies are the same
I’m not on the contrary… You see, it beats my imagination how guys move from one girl to another, does she have a different ‘privy part’ from the other girl? Because, that’s the major reasons guys cheat. Don’t FORCE yourself on any girl because there is so much more than meets the eye, so carefully take note of the nuances and unspoken words, body movements and gestures. Break Up is an unnecessary evil.
2. We are told to Approach and not to Encroach
In my little time around ladies, whether friends or crushes; I’ve discovered that you could actually be encroaching thinking you are approaching. Before getting too involved, be sure it’s not in vain. “Years Of Friendzoning Makes A Guy Look Like He’s Been Duped”
Approach her if you like her. When you discover her heart is elsewhere, dump her.
3. Girls Need Guys More Than Guys Need Them
Am I quoting Scriptures here? Before someone calls me a chauvinist, the Bible spoke about, in the ET, it will be seven ladies to just one guy. Take it or leave it, girls wish they could ask guys out . For many reasons; Protection, Financial assistance, Warmth, Leadership, Companionship etc. Guys, don’t FORCE yourself on any lady, whosoever please.
4. It Sends The Wrong Signal
Trying to get her to like you in a short period of time sends the opposite message. Good intention, yea, but it sends a “Desperate Call” to her. Not FORCING yourself on any accords you some form of honour and avoid insults too.
5. The “You Forced Me Into This Relationship” Speech May Surface.
If you didn’t understand the rest points, at least grasp this point, don’t FORCE a girl into your life and family. If you FORCE her to come, you’ll do same to get her to stay. Fine or Average-looking, they’re the same; same sexual parts! In fact, let her make the choice of choosing you without any coercion from anyone.
Forcing a girl into a relationship with you is plain stupidity. Who says you can’t approach?
You can but don’t use the law of Force saying, “If I don’t have you, I’ll die”— Lielie, is your name Laila?
To me, state your aim for getting close to her, watch her reaction for days. React based on those figures.

8 Ways Guys Payback Ladies When They Become Rich

The frustration and condemnation broke guys experience from people (ladies in particular) is synonymous to the way society treat a lunatic but the story changes for such guys when they move from grass to grace as friends, families and even enemies will want to have their share of national cake at all cost.
Their change in level will no doubt attract different category of ladies in which he will be seen as the new cash daddy in town to relief their financial woes but left to him, he will device ways to punish them which are as follows;
1. Wind up and lock his car doors when driving
I was fortunate to be among a group of ladies discussing men issue as one of them aired her annoyance towards a big boy who deliberately wind up and lock his car doors when she approached him for a lift. I cannot hold the laugh bursting from my mouth when I heard her silly story but one thing for sure is that if a guy with keke or okada offer her a lift, she will rain curse on his generation.
2. Dump them after exploring their kitty cat
For a guy who just hit jackpot after hustling, he verges into playboy mechanism by enticing ladies with money, harnessing their kitty cats and dump them like those sewage and refuse at ojota.
3. Treat ladies with disdain
Owning to the insult rich dudes have received when they had nothing in the past, they unleash their venom on ladies by embarrassing them on date, speak ill words during their visit, comparing them to jezebel, and fling them out of their apartment at midnight.
4. Save their numbers with horrible names
I was opportune to have access to my big brother’s phone and when I scrolled through his BBM and whatsapp contacts, I laughed out loud like someone in comedy house because of funny and horrible names like “Chopandquench”, “Thief”, “Gold digger”, etc he used in saving his several chicks.
5. Ignore ladies call
An adage says “where there is money, there is friend”. Once a Lady knows that the story of a broke guy has changed to laughter, she calls frequently which may run his phone battery death as no doubt he will have no choice than to ignore her calls or perhaps deletes her number.
6. Refuse to drop his contact details
I cannot but shake my head when ladies chase a rich dude in order to get his phone number, BlackBerry PIN and house address of which he may reject instantly. Meanwhile when he was a nobody seeking for their love, they see him as a nonentity.
7. Stingy to broke and hungry ladies
The encroachment of broke and hungry ladies is more devastating than grasshoppers nesting on a farmland. Immediately a rich dude notice this attitude in a lady, he becomes very stingy in a way to pursue them.
8. Toil with their emotion
This is an act these category of guys adopt since their feelings was played in the past like football as they use it as payback to ladies by making them fall in love and break their heart afterwards.
Bonus:
* They Start Acting Like Buhari
When they become rich they go around with the mentality that they can get any lady at the tip of their finger. They start commanding ladies even the way Buhari cannot control Saraki.
* They Expect The Lady To Make Advances
Some of them will sit on the bed and will expect the lady to come to them, grab them and off their boxers before they make move cheesy

 

No Dull Yourself: Break Up If Your Partner Shows Any Of These 8 Signs

According to Krystle Crossman of Healthy Black Woman, it is a sad and unfortunate fact that many women are in abusive relationships. It is an even more unfortunate fact that many of them don’t realize what path the relationship is headed down until it is too late.

Crossman lists some warning signs that you may be in an abusive relationship and should get out before it gets worse:
1. When you are around other people your partner likes to humiliate you: They will call you names and degrade you in front of anyone that you meet. They do this to have dominance in the relationship. They like to destroy your self-worth so that you feel like you don’t deserve anyone better.
2. You are not allowed to make your own decisions: They decide where you go, when you go, who you are friends with, and what you are allowed to wear. You have no control over your life anymore. Your independence is gone and they control every little thing that you do.

3. When you have done something that they don’t like or are not doing something they want they will threaten you: It may be a threat of physical harm or something else such as ending the relationship. Many women pa$$ this off because they feel that they are empty threats but they often turn into real threats which they act upon.

4. If they are spoken to about their abusive behavior they will pass the blame off on you stating that you deserved it: They will deny that they are doing anything wrong and state that if you didn’t do certain things they wouldn’t have to hurt you.

5. If you are financially dependent on them they will use money against you: They will threaten to leave and take everything. They will give you an “allowance” and not let you touch the money that comes in. They may even restrict you from working so that you depend completely on them for income.
6. They will limit or completely destroy any relationship that you have with your family and friends: They do not want you to talk to others about the relationship and they do not want other people putting ideas in your head. This gives them complete control.
7. If you have children together they will often use them against you: They will turn the children against you by lying to them. They will use the children as a bargaining tool if they feel like you are going to leave them.

8. They will make you fear them: Intimidation is a way for them to control you and make sure you do everything that they want. They want to make sure that you are afraid to do anything wrong and too afraid to leave

BREAK IT or LEAVE IT?
Armed robbers came into a couples
house. After robbing them, they handed over a
...

pistol to the husband to
shoot and kill his wife or they will shoot him dead.
The husband started pleading for
mercy, that he could not shoot his wife because he
loved her so much. The robbers gave him a hot slap, took the gun from him and gave it to the wife to shoot the
husband or she will be shoot by the
thieves. The wife without any hesitation shot straight at thr husband but there was no
bullet in the gun.
The robbers started laughing and left.
If na you be Husband, Abeg, whats your way forward?

See More

SOMEONE OUT THERE NEEDS THIS...
So, Let me share with you a story culled from a recent post by "In-Law Debby Daisy"
....
"One day, a client paid me a big sum and I just felt like tripping my wife. I put her in the Toyota Camry car I was using then and
off I drove to Shoprite on VI. I did not even tell her we were going to Shoprite.
.
When we got there, she exploded
"Do you have money? What are we doing here? I said "just follow me and pick anything you want."
.
Right inside Shoprite, I picked cart and wheeled it behind her. "Pick anything you want baby."
.
See women o!
Na so she dey pick, pick, pick and pick o.
.
The cart was full. Then she picked her own cart too, and in minutes, her cart was full too. I picked the bill, almost N86,000.
.
As we were going out of the mall, something struck her... "Fellow, you did not buy yourself anything! she wondered.
.
"Ah, I have no cash left. Let us go home ..." I replied.
.
"No, I have some money. Lets go back and pick what you want. So we went back. My wife picked a bill of N42k for me alone.
.
Now, you know I never knew my wife had money on her? But she brought it out and spent on me because I had impressed her.
.

My man, Impress your wife, she will spin surprises on you.
.
Now look at this again: when I scrutinised all we bought with my N86k, hardly was there anything strictly for her. Almost everything we bought were things we used at home and for the children, but when it was her turn to buy for me, I bought things for MYSELF; Shaving cream, boxers, stockings, slippers, DVDs, condoms, singlets, my kind of wine, (understand?) etc. Things me alone use!
.
It taught me a great lesson: MOST women are good. NOT ALL women are not greedy. All they want is show them you love them, you will catch them MUGU for life!
.
Men, give your wives pocket money today. Cultivate the habit. Don’t say "sebi she is working."
.
And women, don’t say how much are you giving me gan sef; Kneel down and say thank you.
.
I hope I am IN ORDER?

Ariwoola Temitayo

September 2 at 9:37am · Edited

Jealousy is the green-eyed monster that can attack when you least expect it. Sometimes your possessiveness might be set off when you see an attractive stranger checking out your partner, or maybe an "unknown" caller on a cell phone sets off your jealousy. We all know that
trust is key for a happy and healthy relationship, but sometimes that can be hard to come by! Take this quiz and find out if you are too jealous and possessive of your partner:
1. When you see your sweetie with another person:
A. You freak out and yell at your partner.
B. You feel a stir of jealously and keep it in.
C. You feel depressed and inadequate.
D. You're not disturbed at all.
2. If your partner starts talking to an attractive person when you are out:
A. You drag him away and start a fight.
B. You feel deeply hurt and use silence as punishment.
C. It depends on the person. Sometimes you might feel put off.
D. I am secure in my love and never worry.
3. Have you ever checked your partner's phone to see who he or she has been talking to?
A. All the time
B. A few times over the years
C. Just once because of strange behaviour
D. Never
4. When your partner goes out with friends, how many times do you call or text?
A. I call hourly.
B. I text hourly.
C. I'll text to see when he or she is going to be home.
D. I don't call or text unless it's an emergency.
5. When your partner mentions a conversation with
the ex:
A. You confront your partner, insisting he or she still has feelings for this person.
B. You start a fight — but about a past issue.
C. You listen to what your partner has to say, but feel hurt that it's been brought up.
D. Doesn't bother you at all: You both have pasts.
6. What would you do if you found out your partner was Facebook friends with a high school sweetheart?
A. You'd immediately freak out and accuse her/him of cheating.
B. You'd log on to his Facebook page to check for incriminating evidence.
C. You'd ignore it and hope it was nothing.
D. You would tell her/him that it makes you uncomfortable and that you'd like to talk about it.
7. When you're at a party with a lot of attractive people:
A. You fake sick and insist that you leave.
B. You'll likely cling to your partner's arm the entire night.
C. You'd make the rounds on your own, but keep an eye on your sweetie.
D. Let her/him do her/his own thing. You're not worried!
8. You find a picture of your partner's swimsuit-clad ex in your attic. Do you:
A. Scream at him while shoving the picture in his face and demanding answers.
B. Chuck it in the trash without saying anything to her/him.
C. Bring the photo to your partner and judge the situation based on the reaction.
D. Leave it where you found it.
9. How would you react if you found a credit-card receipt for an expensive, romantic restaurant?
A. You'd immediately accuse her/him of cheating.
B. Ask him about it, and then accuse him of lying.
C. Ignore it, and let the resentment build.
D. Calmly ask about the charge when you're alone.
If you answered mostly A's: You have major problems with the green-eyed monster! You and your partner aren't connecting at all due to your feelings of insecurity and
fears of cheating. It's time to sit down and have a serious talk about moving past these issues before your relationship is irrevocably harmed.
If you answered mostly B's:
Your jealously is potent and comes out in passive-aggressive and even underhanded ways. You know that your paranoia is slightly unfounded, so you try to hide your jealous behavior, but your partner can sense it all the same. Talk out your issues. Confront them head-on rather than resorting to sneaky tactics.
If you answered mostly C's: Congrats! You can't help but feel jealous whenever you spot a sexy stranger near your sweetie, but you are in control of your emotions and know that
your partner only has eyes for you.
If you answered mostly D's: You are one cool cucumber! Nothing shakes
your confidence or your trust in your partner. Good for you!
Would you like to have the copy of this as voice,C.D?
Call Dr issues in dating on 08154652800

For so many reasons people get engaged in things but here is the full list of 237 reasons that people said why they have
sex:
1. I was ''in the heat of the moment.''
2. It just happened.
3. I was bored.
4. It just seemed like ''the thing to do.''
5. Someone dared me.
6. I desired emotional closeness "(i.e.," intimacy).
7. I wanted to feel closer to God.
8. I wanted to gain acceptance from my friends.
9. It's "exciting," adventurous.
10. I wanted to make up after a fight.
11. I wanted to get rid of aggression.
12. I was under the influence of drugs.
13. I wanted to have something to tell my friends.
14. I wanted to express my love for the person.
15. I wanted to experience the physical pleasure.
16. I wanted to show my affection to the person.
17. I felt like I owed it to the person.
18. I was attracted to the person.
19. I was sexually aroused and wanted the release.
20. My friends were having sex and I wanted to fit in.
21. It feels good.
22. My partner kept insisting.
23. The person was famous and I wanted to be able to say I had sex with him/her.
24. I was physically forced to.
25. I was verbally coerced into it.
26. I wanted the person to love me.
27. I wanted to have a child.
28. I wanted to make someone else jealous.
29. I wanted to have more sex than my friends.
30. I was married and you're supposed to.
31. I was tired of being a virgin.
32. I was ''horny.''
33. I wanted to feel loved.
34. I was feeling lonely.
35. Everyone else was having sex.
36. I wanted the attention.
37. It was easier to ''go all the way'' than to stop.
38. I wanted to ensure the relationship was ''committed.''
39. I was competing with someone else to ''get the person.''
40. I wanted to ''gain control'' of the person.
41. I was curious about what the person was like in bed.
42. I was curious about sex.
43. I wanted to feel attractive.
44. I wanted to please my partner.
45. I wanted to display submission.
46. I wanted to release anxiety/stress.
47. I didn't know how to say ''no.''
48. I felt like it was my duty.
49. I wanted to end the relationship.
50 My friends pressured me into it.
51. I wanted the adventure/excitement.
52. I wanted the experience.
53. I felt obligated to.
54. It's fun.
55. I wanted to get even with someone "(i.e.," get revenge).
56. I wanted to be popular.
57. It would get me gifts.
58. I wanted to act out a
fantasy.
59. I hadn't had sex for a while.
60. The person was ''available.''
61. I didn't want to ''lose'' the person.
62. I thought it would help ''trap'' a new partner.
63. I wanted to make someone else jealous.
64. I felt sorry for the person.
65. I wanted to feel powerful.
66. I wanted to ''possess'' the person.
67. I wanted to release tension.
68. I wanted to feel good about myself.
69. I was slumming.
70. I felt rebellious.
71. I wanted to intensify my relationship.
72. It seemed like the natural next step.
73. I wanted to be nice.
74. I wanted to feel connected to the person.
75. I wanted to feel young.
76. I wanted to manipulate him/her into doing something for me.
77. I wanted him/her to stop bugging me about sex.
78. I wanted to hurt/humiliate the person.
79. I wanted the person to feel good about themselves.
80. I didn't want to disappoint the person.
81. I was trying to ''get over'' an earlier person/relationship.
82. I wanted to reaffirm my sexual orientation.
83. I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions.
84. I felt guilty.
85. My hormones were out of control.
86. It was the only way my partner would spend time with me.
87. It became a habit.
88. I wanted to keep my partner happy.
89. I had no self-control.
90. I wanted to communicate at a deeper level.
91. I was afraid my partner would have an affair if I didn't have sex with him/her.
92. I was curious about my sexual abilities.
93. I wanted a ''spiritual'' experience.
94. It was just part of the relationship ''routine''.
95. I wanted to lose my inhibitions.
96. I got ''carried away.''
97. I needed another ''notch on my belt.''
98. The person demanded that I have sex with him/her.
99. The opportunity presented itself.
100. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex while stoned "(e.g.," on marijuana or some other drug).
101. It's considered ''taboo'' by society.
102. I wanted to increase the number of sex partners I had experienced.
103. The person was too ''hot'' (sexy) to resist.
104. I thought it would relax me.
105. I thought it would make me feel healthy.
106. I wanted to experiment with new experiences.
107. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex with another person.
108. I thought it would help me to fall asleep.
109. I could brag to other people about my sexual experience.
110. It would allow me to ''get sex out of my system'' so that I could focus on other things.
111. I wanted to decrease my partner's desire to have sex with someone else.
112. It would damage my reputation if I said ''no.''
113. The person was too physically attractive to resist.
114. I wanted to celebrate something.
115. I was seduced.
116. I wanted to make the person feel better about themselves.
117. I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex.
118. I wanted to see whether sex with a different partner would feel different or better.
119. I was mad at my "partner," so I had sex with someone else.
120. I wanted to fulfill a previous promise to my partner.
121. It was expected of me.
122. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
123. I wanted the pure pleasure.
124. I wanted to dominate the other person.
125. I wanted to make a conquest.
126. I'm addicted to sex.
127. It was a favor to someone.
128. I wanted to be used or degraded.
129. Someone offered me money to do it.
130. I was drunk.
131. It seemed like good exercise.
132. I was pressured into doing it.
133. The person offered to give me drugs for doing it.
134. I was frustrated and needed relief.
135. It was a romantic setting.
136. I felt insecure.
137. My regular partner is "boring," so I had sex with someone else.
138. I was on the ''rebound'' from another relationship.
139. I wanted to boost my self-esteem.
140. I wanted to get my partner to stay with me.
141. Because of a bet.
142. It was a special occasion.
143. I wanted to get a special favor from someone.
144. I wanted to get back at my partner for having cheated on me.
145. I wanted to enhance my reputation.
146. I wanted to keep warm.
147. I wanted to punish myself.
148. I wanted to break up a rival's relationship by having sex with his/her partner.
149. I wanted to stop my partners' nagging.
150. I wanted to impress friends.
151. I wanted to achieve an
orgasm.
152. I wanted to brag to my friends about my conquests.
153. I wanted to improve my sexual skills.
154. I wanted to get a job.
155. I wanted to get a raise.
156. I wanted to get a promotion.
157. I wanted to satisfy a compulsion.
158. I wanted to make money.
159. I wanted to keep my partner satisfied.
160. I wanted to change the topic of conversation.
161. I wanted to get out of doing something.
162. I wanted to test my compatibility with a new partner.
163. I wanted to get a partner to express love.
164. I wanted to put the passion back into my relationship.
165. I wanted to prevent a breakup.
166. I wanted to become one with another person.
167. I wanted to get a favor from someone.
168. I wanted to breakup my relationship.
169. I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease "(e.g.," "herpes," AIDS).
170. I wanted to breakup another's relationship.
171. I wanted to avoid hurting someone's feelings.
172. I wanted to make myself feel better about myself.
173. I wanted to get rid of a headache.
174. I was afraid to say ''no'' due to the possibility of physical harm.
175. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
176. I wanted to burn calories.
177. I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner.
178. I wanted to hurt an enemy.
179. I wanted to feel older.
180. I wanted to raise my self-esteem.
181. It was an initiation rite to a club or organization.
182. I wanted to become more focused on work – sexual thoughts are distracting.
183. I wanted to say ''I've missed you.''
184. I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion.
185. I wanted to say ''I'm sorry.''
186. I wanted to return a favor.
187. I wanted to say ''Thank you.''
188. I wanted to welcome someone home.
189. I wanted to say ''goodbye.''
190. I wanted to defy my parents.
191. I wanted to relieve menstrual cramps.
192. I wanted to relieve ''blue balls.''
193. I wanted to get the most out of life.
194. I wanted to feel feminine.
195. I wanted to feel masculine.
196. I am a sex addict.
197. I wanted to see what all the fuss is about.
198. I thought it would boost my social status.
199. The person had a lot of money.
200. The person's physical appearance turned me on.
201. The person was a good dancer.
202. Someone had told me that this person was good in bed.
203. The person had beautiful eyes.
204. The person made me
feel sexy.
205. An erotic movie had turned me on.
206. The person had taken me out for an expensive dinner.
207. The person was a good kisser.
208. The person had bought me jewelry.
209. The person had a great sense of humor.
210. The person seemed self-confident.
211. The person really desired me.
212. The person was really desired by others.
213. I wanted to gain access to that person's friend.
214. I felt jealous.
215. The person flattered me.
216. I wanted to see if I could get the other person into bed.
217. The person had a desirable body.
218. I had not had sex in a long time.
219. The person smelled nice.
220. The person had an attractive face.
221. I saw the person naked and could not resist.
222. I was turned on by the sexual conversation.
223. The person was intelligent.
224. The person caressed me.
225. The person wore revealing clothes.
226. The person had too much to drink and I was able to take advantage of them.
227. I knew the person was usually ''out of my league.''
228. The person was mysterious.
229. I realized I was in love.
230. I wanted to forget about my problems.
231. I wanted to reproduce.
232. I wanted to feel loved.
233. I wanted my partner to notice me.
234. I wanted to help my partner forget about their problems.
235. I wanted to lift my partner's spirits.
236. I wanted to submit to my partner.
237. I wanted to make my partner feel powerfu

I fell in love with this cute damsel and everything was going on fine until i made my intention known to her father & being a learned man, here is what he gave me:APPLICATION FORM TO MARRY MY DAUGHTER.FILL THE FORM IN YOUR OWN HAND WRITING AND IN BLOCK LETTERSI _______________ hereby apply to marry your daughter Miss____________. I am _____ years old.Please answer the following questions honestly.1. Do you go to Church ? Yes/No2. Do you have a degree or diploma? Yes/No3. Are you still a virgin? Yes/No4. Are you working? Yes/No5. Do you have a car? Yes/NoIf your answer to any of the above questions is NO, do not continue. Leave my house and don't look back.If all your answers were YES, Then continue...1. In 50 words or more, Describe the disadvantages of cheating in marriage.__________________________________________2. With the aid of a diagram, Explain how you can give respect to your father in- law and mother in-law.__________________________________________3. Suppose your wife says "Honey, I need money for my hair at the saloon", what would be your answer ?__________________________________4. Explain any TEN causes of divorce.__________________________________________5. What does the term 'good husband' mean to you?_____________________________________6.Do you have both dad and mum together? Yes/NoIf No explain why?_________________________________________7.Were your parents legally married? Yes/NoIf YES for how long?________________________If the time of their marriage is less than your age, Explain why you were born out of wedlock. _____________________________________8. Explain the meaning of ''COME HOME EARLY" As used by women (100 words)__________________________________________9. Give any THREE reasons that can cause a man to sleep outside his house.__________________________________________10. In case of divorce, Who do you think is the owner of the kids between father and mother?_________________________________________Answer the followingby Yes or No.1. Do you drink alcohol? Yes/No2. Do you smoke? Yes/No3. Are you short- tempered? Yes/NoLAST PART - BUT EQUALLY IMPORTANT1. When can you be free for interviews?______________________________2. When is the best time to interview your dad?____________________3. When can I interview your mum? ______________________________4. When can I interview your church Pastor ____________________________________5. Please stick your passport size photo below which will be put in the newspaper to check if you have other girlfriends.Sign here: ________________Sign again: _______________Thank you for showing interest in my daughter. Your application will be processed in a year's time.You will be acknowledged only if you emerge successful.As you are waiting,*Please don't call me!*Don't visit me!*Don't contact my daughter!If u do, you will be disqualified!Leave your details in case I need to ask you more questions;Postal Address: _________________________Email: __________________________________Phone: _________________________________Home:__________________________________Facebook: ______________________________BEST WISHES.Suppose you are in my kind of shoe/situationwhat would you do

READERS DISCRETION ADVISED
(STRICTLY FOR MATURE MINDS)
If you're a married woman, you should sleep naked and let your "bumbum" touch your husband.
...

How can you use pillow to divide bed or decide that you need your own room, for what? Two shall become one, hence One bed, one bedroom.
A pen*s is a wife's toy - she is supposed to play with it. There are so many married women who don't even know how their husbands' pen*s look like.
She only feels it when he enters her. Shooooo!!!
Look! It's your play toy. Feel it, play with it. It is not a Taboo.
They've never touched it, let alone seen it in a broad day light because the husband switches off the lights before undressing and the wife says I can't have sex where there is light; Sorry is your name!
Irrespective of how important sex is in our lives, most times it is the least discussed topic by people even married ones.
A lot of people don't associate sex with God - they associate it with Satan and darkness, as if sex is not Holy.
The Bible/Quran is explicit when it comes to sex.
Sex is holy WITHIN MARRIAGE and there is no prescribed style.
Not discussing sex in a Marriage seldom leads to divorce or problems in the union!
Many husbands leave their wives to seek sexual pleasures in other places. Have you ever asked yourself what those women have that you don't?
The answer is Simple.
Wives have become very rigid and even sleep with their panties. Why would a wife sleep with panties on, what for?
Let me repeat myself at this point again; If you're a married woman, you should sleep naked and let your "bumbum" touch your husband.
Marriage is about being free with your body in front of your partner.
A woman should parade naked and do some modelling to entice her husband.
I blame couples for not making time for sex and complaining about being tired, God created sex for procreation and also for pleasure. You can't marry and not have a good time in bed...
If you don't take care of him/her now, someone outside the canopy of your matrimony will do.
Add Flavour to your Marriage; Change or improve your sex Life today. Love Making is Sweet. Always invent something New about it...
Mind you!
To the singles reading this, Love Making is STRICTLY FOR MARRIED PEOPLE; hence this piece is specially dedicated to the married ones here, as a single, Make hay while the Sun shines.
Prepare mentally and maritally towards making use of it in your marital home.
Yours truly...

YOU WAN GO ABORT ABI?
I pity your life my sister
What if he shows up tomorrow to accept what he had once denied?
...

What if your man becomes born again, goes for deliverance and he is redeemed?
My dear young lady, whether he likes it or YES, the child belongs to both of you. The irresponsible behaviour of the father is no justification for you to settle for an Abortion.
Please, allow that innocent child to live because if you dare try to abort it, you MAY not come out of that abortion theater alive.
CALL IT A CURSE and I will tell you it's a FACT.
Better know today that Abortion does not stop you from being a mother, rather it makes you a MOTHER OF A DEAD CHILD.
So, what's the point?
Christiano Ronaldo who has repeatedly bagged the WORLD BEST PLAYER Award was almost aborted those days. Imagine what loss such could have been to the family if the mother had aborted.
Thank GOD you are here reading this; it shows God wants to save you of the stress from aborting the life of an unborn child.
I'm not judging you in anyway. All I want you to do is to have a rethink of the decision to abort.
DON'T DO IT!
That you're pregnant is enough, have you thought of what might happen during abortion process?
I know that one of your problem is YOUR PARENTS' REACTION when they hear you are pregnant. Why not think about it this way. DID YOU THINK YOUR PARENT WILL PRAISE YOU EITHER WHEN YOU DIE IN THE UGLY PROCESS OF ABORTION?
My Dear Lady, Look for SOMEONE your parents respect to help you tell them if you cannot tell them yourself. It may not take up to what you think before they discover that WHAT HAS HAPPENED HAS HAPPENED.
Look, I'm not really concerned about how anybody feels about your state; your friends, neighbours, relatives, Ex, or even your Church/Mosque Members, all I care about is...
"You have a beautiful future with your child and Few years from now, I'm sure I will be so proud of you both."
It's not as if I'm encouraging fornication, but since it has happened, there's no point shouting at you.

RELATIONSHIP COMPARISON;
Good or Bad?
You might be right that your current partner's attitude to your Relationship is far from your expectations.
...

In fact, of all the Relationships you've run so far, this current one is indeed, on off-side.
SEGUN was NEVER like this. Even JIDE, KOLA, SEUN & TAYO whom you thought were bad, they never treated this you this way.
Hmmmmmnnn!
Look!
The easiest way to create HEARTACHES for oneself in a shaky relationship is by one MAKING COMPARISON BETWEEN and AMONGST ONE'S CURRENT RELATIONSHIP & THE PAST ONES.
It's an indirect way of taking yourself back to a PAST which you've once struggled out of, thereby making a bias conclusion about your current Relationship Life.
As a matter of fact, your current partner might truly be the worse of all, but the bottom line is:
THERE IS NO RELATIONSHIP THAT IS DEVOID OF ISSUES, STRESS & "BUTS"
If you think you EX-, SEGUN is now better than DEJI, then tell me; WHY DID YOU LEAVE SEGUN IN THE FIRST PLACE?
WOULD YOU RATHER NOW LEAVE YOUR CURRENT GUY BECAUSE YOU FEEL THE PAST IS EVEN BETTER?
...guys are not left out;
The easiest way for a Guy to create HEARTACHES for himself in a shaky relationship is by MAKING CONTRAST BETWEEN and AMONGST HIS CURRENT RELATIONSHIP & THE PAST ONES.
As a matter of fact, BIMPE, who is now your EX- might truly be the worse of all Ladies you've dated.
You showed her enough care and love with all you have, even at your detriment, yet she left you simply because she saw a better guy who does it better than you did.
Yeah! I know her exit was indeed a huge emotional blow which nearly tore you apart, but look, the bottom line is;
That BIMPE treated you bad does not in anyway mean you must TRANSFER wrong emotions unto your next Fianceé and other Ladies you meet thereafter.
If you think your Ex-, BIMPE has made you experience an unforgivable heartache, then tell me;
HOW MANY LADIES WOULD SUFFER FOR BIMPE'S SAKE BEFORE YOU LET GO?
WOULD YOU NOW PUNISH OTHERS EMOTIONALLY & FINANCIALLY SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU GOT JILTED BY A LADY YOU'VE ONCE SACRIFICED ALL YOU HAD FOR?
Think and ACT RIGHTLY; let your PAST pass you by and move on, by letting your "X" be where he/she belongs.
STOP MAKING YOUR CURRENT PARTNER PAY FOR WHAT YOUR PAST PARTNERS BROUGHT TO YOU.

How many of us have learned how to build loving relationships? Where did we learn? At home? At school? There is an art and science to building strong relationships. These indispensable tips were written with romantic relationships in mind, but with a little modification you can apply them to your friendships, family and even work relationships.
1. Create a safe environment where you can trust and share openly without being afraid.
Don’t interrupt, even if you need to put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself. Learn to fight fairly. No name calling. Don’t make threats. Apologize when you know you should. If you’re too angry to really listen, stop! Go into another room, take space for yourself, breathe and “calm down.”
Remember: your partner is not the enemy.

More from YourTango: 7 Ways Love Transforms Your Brain

2. Separate the facts from the feelings.

What beliefs and feelings get triggered in you during conflicts? Ask yourself: Is there something from my past that is influencing how I’m seeing the situation now? The critical question you want to ask: Is this about him or her, or is it really about me? What’s the real truth? Once you’re able to differentiate facts from feelings, you’ll see your partner more clearly and be able to resolve conflicts from clarity.
3. Connect with the different parts of yourself.
Each of us is not a solo instrument. We’re more like a choir or an orchestra with several voices. What is your mind saying? What is your heart saying? What is your body saying? What is your ‘gut’ saying? For example: My mind is saying ‘definitely leave her,’ but my heart says ‘I really love her.’ Let these different voices or parts of you co-exist and speak to one another. In this way, you will find an answer that comes from your whole self.
4. Develop and cultivate compassion.
Practice observing yourself and your partner without judging. Part of you might judge, but you don’t have to identify with it. Judging closes a door. The opposite of judging is compassion. When you are compassionate, you are open, connected, and more available to dialoging respectfully with your partner. As you increasingly learn to see your partner compassionately, you will have more power to choose your response rather than just reacting.
5. Create a “we” that can house two “I’s”.
The foundation for a thriving, growing, mutually-supportive relationship is to be separate and connected. In co-dependent relationships, each person sacrifices part of him or her self, compromising the relationship as a whole. When you are separate and connected, each individual “I” contributes to the creation of a “we” that is stronger than the sum of its parts.
The differences between you and your partner are not negatives. You don’t need to be with someone who shares all of your interests and views. We may sometimes fear that these differences are incompatibilities, but in fact, they’re often what keeps a relationship exciting and full of good fire.
6. Partner, heal thyself.
Don’t expect your partner to fill your emotional holes, and don’t try to fill theirs. Ultimately, each of us can only heal ourselves. Your partner, however, can be supportive as you work with yourself, and vice versa. In fact, living in a loving relationship is healing in and of itself.

More from YourTango: The #1 Key to Effective Communication

7. Ask questions when you’re unsure or are making assumptions.
All too often, we make up our own stories or interpretations about what our partners’ behavior means. For example: “She doesn’t want to cuddle; she must not really love me anymore.” We can never err on the side of asking too many questions, and then listen to the answers from your whole self — heart, gut, mind and body. Equally important is to hear what’s not being said — the facts and feeling that you sense might be unspoken.
8. Make time for your relationship.
No matter who you are or what your work is, you need to nurture your relationship. Make sure you schedule time for the well-being of your relationship. That includes making “playdates” and also taking downtime together. Frequently create a sacred space together by shutting off all things technological and digital. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will grow.
9. Say the “hard things” from love.
Become aware of the hard things that you’re not talking about. How does that feel? No matter what you’re feeling in a situation, channel the energy of your emotions so that you say what you need to say in a constructive manner.

Relationship Help

Advice for Building Relationships that are Healthy, Happy and Satisfying

In This Article
A strong, healthy relationship can be one of the best supports in your life. Good relationships improve all aspects of your life, strengthening your health, your mind, and your connections with others. However, if the relationship isn't working, it can also be a tremendous drain. Relationships are an investment. The more you put in, the more you can get back. These tips can help keep a healthy relationship strong, or repair trust and love in a relationship on the rocks.

How to strengthen your loving relationship

Everyone’s relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. But there are some things that good relationships have in common. Knowing the basic principles of healthy relationships helps keep them meaningful, fulfilling and exciting in both happy times and sad:

What makes a healthy love relationship?

• Staying involved with each other. Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without truly relating to each other and working together. While it may seem stable on the surface, lack of involvement and communication increases distance. When you need to talk about something important, the connection and understanding may no longer be there.
• Getting through conflict. Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. The key in a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict. You need to be safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation or insisting on being right.
• Keeping outside relationships and interests alive. No one person can meet all of our needs, and expecting too much from someone can put a lot of unhealthy pressure on a relationship. Having friends and outside interests not only strengthens your social network, but brings new insights and stimulation to the relationship, too.
• Communicating. Honest, direct communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, trust and bonds are strengthened. Nonverbal cues—body language like eye contact, leaning forward or away, or touching someone’s arm—are critical to communication.

Relationship advice tip 1: Keep physical intimacy alive

Touch is a fundamental part of human existence. Studies on infants have shown the importance of regular, loving touch and holding on brain development. These benefits do not end in childhood. Life without physical contact with others is a lonely life indeed.
Studies have shown that affectionate touch actually boosts the body’s levels of oxytocin, a hormone that influences bonding and attachment. In a committed relationship between two adult partners, physical intercourse is often a cornerstone of the relationship. However, intercourse should not be the only method of physical intimacy in a relationship. Regular, affectionate touch—holding hands, hugging, or kissing—is equally important.
Be sensitive to what your partner likes. While touch is a key part of a healthy relationship, it’s important to take some time to find out what your partner really likes. Unwanted touching or inappropriate overtures can make the other person tense up and retreat—exactly what you don’t want.

Relationship advice tip 2: Spend quality time together

You probably have fond memories of when you were first dating your loved one. Everything may have seemed new and exciting, and you may have spent hours just chatting together or coming up with new, exciting things to try. However, as time goes by, children, demanding jobs, long commutes, different hobbies and other obligations can make it hard to find time together. It’s critical for your relationship, though, to make time for yourselves. If you don’t have quality time, communication and understanding start to erode.

Simple ways to connect as a couple and rekindle love

• Commit to spending quality time together on a regular basis. Even during very busy and stressful times, a few minutes of really sharing and connecting can help keep bonds strong.
• Find something that you enjoy doing together, whether it is a shared hobby, dance class, daily walk, or sitting over a cup of coffee in the morning.
• Try something new together. Doing new things together can be a fun way to connect and keep things interesting. It can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or going on a day trip to a place you’ve never been before.

Couples are often more fun and playful in the early stages of a relationship. However, this playful attitude can sometimes be forgotten as life challenges or old resentments start getting in the way. Keeping a sense of humor can actually help you get through tough times, reduce stress, and work through issues more easily.

Focus on having fun together

• Think about playful ways to surprise your partner, like bringing flowers or a favorite movie home unexpectedly.
• Learn from the “play experts” together. Playing with pets or small children can really help you reconnect with your playful side. If it’s something you do together, you also learn more about your partner and how he or she likes to have fun.
• Make a habit of laughing together whenever you can. Most situations are not as bleak as they appear to be when you approach them with humor.

Learning how to play again

A little humor and playful interaction can go a long way in relieving tense situations and helping you see the brighter side. If you’re feeling a little rusty, learn more about how playful communication can improve your relationship, and for fun ways to practice this skill.

Relationship advice tip 3: Never stop communicating

Good communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well, and times of change or stress can really bring out disconnect. As long as you are communicating, you can work through whatever problem you’re facing.

Learn your partner’s emotional cues

Each of us is a little different in how we best receive information. Some people might respond better to sight, sound, or touch. Your partner’s responses may be different from yours. Take some time to learn your partner’s cues, and be sure to communicate your own as well. For example, one person might find a brief massage after a stressful day a loving mode of communication—while another might just want to talk over a hot cup of tea.
So much of our communication is transmitted by what we don’t say. Nonverbal cues—such as eye contact, leaning forward or away, or touching someone’s arm—communicate much more than words. For a relationship to work well, each person has to be receptive to sending and receiving nonverbal cues. Learning to understand this “body language” can help you better understand what your partner is trying to say. Think about what you are transmitting as well, and if what you say matches what you feel. If you say “I’m fine,” but you clench your teeth and look away, then your body is clearly signaling you are not.

Question your assumptions

If you’ve known each other for a while, you may assume that your partner has a pretty good idea of what you are thinking and what you need. However, your partner is not a mind reader. While your partner may have some idea, it is much healthier to directly express your needs to avoid any confusion. Your partner may sense something, but it might not be what you need. What’s more, people change, and what you needed and wanted five years ago, for example, may be very different now. Getting in the habit of expressing your needs helps you weather difficult times, which otherwise may lead to increasing resentment, misunderstanding, and anger.

Use your senses to keep stress in check

If you’re not calm and focused, you won’t be able to communicate effectively. The best way to reduce stress quickly and reliably is through the senses. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need to find things that are soothing to you.

Relationship advice tip 4: Healthy relationships are built on give and take

If you expect to get what you want 100% of a time in a relationship, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Healthy relationships are built on compromise, and it takes work on each person’s part to make sure that there is a reasonable exchange.

Recognize what’s important to your partner

Knowing what is truly important to your partner can go a long way towards building goodwill and an atmosphere of compromise. On the flip side, it’s also important for your partner to recognize your wants and for you to state them clearly. Constantly compromising your needs for others' will build resentment and anger.

Don’t make “winning” your goal

If you approach your partner with the attitude that things have to be your way or else, it will be difficult to reach a compromise. Sometimes this attitude comes from not having your needs met while you were younger, or it could be from years of accumulated resentment building up in your current relationship. It’s all right to have strong convictions about something, but your partner deserves to be heard as well. You are more likely to get your needs met if you respect what your partner needs, and compromise when you can.

Learn how to respectfully resolve conflict

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but to keep a relationship strong, both people need to feel they’ve been heard. The goal is not to win but to resolve the conflict with respect and love.

• Make sure you are fighting fair.
• Don’t attack someone directly; use “I” statements to communicate how you feel.
• Don’t drag old arguments into the mix.
• Keep the focus on the issue at hand, and respect the other person.

Relationship advice tip 5: Expect ups and downs

It’s also important to recognize that there are ups and downs in every relationship. You won’t always be on the same page. Sometimes one partner may be struggling with an issue that stresses them, such as the death of a close family member. Other events, like job loss or severe health problems, can affect both partners and make it difficult to relate to each other. You might have different ideas of managing finances or raising children. Different people cope with stress differently, and misunderstanding can rapidly turn to frustration and anger.

Relationship advice for getting through life’s ups and downs

• Don’t take out your problems on your partner. Life stresses can make us short tempered. If you are coping with a lot of stress, it might seem easier to snap at your partner. Fighting like this might initially feel like a release, but it slowly poisons your relationship. Find other ways to vent your anger and frustration.
• Some problems are bigger than both of you. Trying to force a solution can cause even more problems. Every person works through problems and issues in his or her own way. Remember that you’re a team. Continuing to move forward together can get you through the rough spots.
• Be open to change. Change is inevitable in life, and it will happen whether you go with it or fight it. Flexibility is essential to adapt to the change that is always taking place in any relationship, and it allows you to grow together through both the good times and the bad.
• Don’t ignore problems. Whatever problems arise in a romantic relationship, it’s important to face them together as a couple. If an aspect of the relationship stops working, don’t simply ignore it, but instead address it with your partner. Things change, so respond to them together as they do.

Romantic relationships require ongoing attention

Many couples focus on their relationship only when there are specific, unavoidable problems to overcome. Once the problems have been resolved they often switch their attention back to their careers, kids, or other interests. However, romantic relationships require ongoing attention and commitment for love to flourish. As long as the health of a romantic relationship remains important to you, it is going to require your attention and effort.

If you need more relationship help and advice

Sometimes problems in a relationship may seem too complex or overwhelming for a couple to handle on their own. In that case, it’s important to reach out together for help. There are a number of options available, including:

• Couples counseling. It’s a big investment, and time, energy, focus and commitment are needed from both people to make a difference, but you might consider couples or marriage counseling to resolve your differences. Both parties need to be willing and able to honestly communicate what he or she needs, face the issues that arise in counseling, and then make the necessary changes. It’s important also that both people feel comfortable with the counselor.
• Spiritual advice. Some couples benefit from spiritual advice from a religious figure such as a pastor or rabbi. This tends to work best if both persons have similar convictions of faith and have a good relationship with the spiritual advisor.
• Emotional Intelligence building. Try using Helpguide's Emotional Intelligence Toolkit , a free utility for building emotional health and emotional intelligence. This in-depth course provides articles, videos, and audio meditations designed to help you put the skills of emotional intelligence and communication into practice.
• Individual therapy. Sometimes one person may need specialized help. For example, someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one may need counseling to help him or her process the grief. If your loved one needs help, don’t feel like you are a failure for not providing him or her everything he or she needs. No one can fulfill everyone’s needs, and getting the right help can make a tremendous difference in your relationship

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Sex and love are often confused by many as the same which is one of the major causes of breakups nowadays.

Having great sex with someone doesn't mean you love them and any relationship built on that is bound to fall apart because it started for all the wrong reasons but true love always stand the test of time.

Tor Constantino of The Good Men Project lists a few abilities couples should have in common to help secure lasting love:

1. AvailAbility: The first necessary "Ability" for ensuring a great love and relationship is the ability to be present and in the moment, mentally, emotionally and physically for your partner. It's important to note that being available is more than just physical proximity. The hearts of a couple sitting right next to each other can be miles apart. Obviously, there are long-distance relationships due to the economy, military duty or other circumstances that separate individuals, but distance doesn't have to equate to a doomed love. The key is maximizing your availability to your partner as much as possible—mentally, emotionally and physically. If you're available to your mate both mentally and emotionally, you can still be a great lover despite a challenging physical distance.
2. DependAbility: Perhaps the most important "Ability" of any relationship is the ability to be earn and keep the trust of your mate. Trust is also one of the most difficult aspects of a relationship to achieve, and it's also the easiest to destroy. Yet dependability is an easy concept to understand. It necessitates that you're someone who can be relied upon, that you keep your word, that you follow through on promises, and that you're worthy of trust. Betrayal is a violation of that dependability, that trust, and very few relationships can survive a pattern of that bad behavior. Maybe that's why Dante’s Inferno reserves the last circle of Hell for those who have betrayed a special relationship.
3. AccountAbility: The truth is that all of us make mistakes in our relationships, but if you want your love to last you have to have the "Ability" to fess up, admit your mistakes and apologize—quickly. Accountability to one another is critical to long-term success in any relationship. It’s about mutual understanding, shared expectations, as well as individually accepting the consequences and outcomes of our own actions or words. But as individuals, we tend to be notoriously selfish. I know I'm more apt to blame someone else for my mistakes and shortfalls, even when I'm obviously at fault. That's because I’m human and you are, too. Accountability and love require us to rise above that selfish, individual nature and consider the needs of others first.