“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

GREAT LESSONS TO BE LEARNT!!!!

THEME;DYING IN SILENCE!!!

Rita seemed to be overwhelmed by anxiety and depression as she poured out her heart to me.she was trying to hide her nervous tension under a calm exterior..
She began by explaining that she didn't understand why she couldn't cope,why she was simply falling apart.She had looked for solutions in different areas,reading books about coping with anxiety and depression,and attending every marriage and sucessful living seminar she got wind of.However,these didn't eem to work for her and her frustration was causing her faith to waiver.She began to doubt if christ was the answer,as he didn't seem to answer her prayers..
What was Rita's problem,why was she so upset?she couldn't place her finger on it,except,her husband's affair had something to do with it..Kola,her husband,had been seeing a single girl for about a year,who had a baby with him.Rita was puzzled by the fact that she couldn't handle the news of her husband's child.Strange as it may seem,Rita was no stranger of infidelity.Kola had had many affairs over their eight yrs of marriage and this was the second child he had fathered out of wedlock.It was obvious that kola had a problem with self control because Rita could vividly remeber that Kola had been seeing other girls even while they were couting.
The fact that she had put up with eight years of infidelity and had been concealing her feelings,was destroying Rita's health.Kola,on the issue,as it afforded him the luxury of having a cook,laundress and mother for his children,as well as permission to maintain countless concubines.Rita had to realize that most of her problems were due to her incredible passivity and lack of critical discernment.She had to see that,although she might passively absorb abuse,her stomanch and every nerve in her body were going to urge back.On the other hand,developing assertiveness and expressing outrage at Kola's behaviour,would inevitably result in her leaving him.That was exactly what happened in the end..
Rita was scared of being alone and considered the innumerable role of being alone that Kola played in her life to give her reasons for shying away frm divorce.Finally,Kola made the decision for her and filed for divorce.The divorce went through and kola married one of his girlfrnds.Kola had closed the door to any hope that they would ever get back together again.Rita was now single and she had get on with her life...

Not all boys will cheat you, some
boys are faithful to their partners

Not all boys will break your heart,
some of them will give a love you
deserve

Not all boys will hurt you, some of
them just want to see a smile in
your face

Not all boys who just want only
sex from girls, some of them want
a real relationship

STOP SAYING THAT ALL MEN ARE
THE SAME,REMEMBER THE FACT
THAT THE PERSON WHO STARTED
THAT PHRASE WAS A CHINESE
WOMAN WHO LOST HIS HUSBAND
IN THE CROWD..

One day soon, you will have that someone who is thoughtful, attentive to your needs and who will know what you are about to say before you even say it. One day soon, you will experience what it means to be truly loved, truly cared for and truly needed.

One day soon, you will have someone who will only enhance what you already possess, someone who will be supportive, encourage you and not hinder you. One day soon, you will once again laugh, smile and enjoy what love is supposed to be in your life.

One day soon, God will bring into your life the person that was created, not for someone else, but the one that was created JUST FOR YOU!

Ariwoola Temitayo

Before you get married please read...and share!!
1. Once you are hooked to the
wrong
person the battle is over, you will
either be managing or patching till you
die. If a goat marries a fish, how
would they live or where would
they
be meeting each other? It is only
when the goat is thirsty and goes to
the river to drink water that they
will
only see briefly as the
fish will jump out to greet the goat
and swim away. Any marriage where
both partners see each other once
in
a long while is likened to the goat
and
fish illustration above. Marriage does
not make marriage. It is the people
in marriage that make marriage.
2 .Compatibility is worked out, of
course you may never get a perfect person.
But with dedication, knowledge
and
wisdom compatibility will start
building, that is if he or she is the
right person.
3. But the major challenge in
getting
married is choosing the right
person.
You don't choose a person
because he or she is available or eligible. You
choose a person because that
person
is the right for you.
4. Run away from any man or
woman that is easily angered by nature;
that
is getting angry easily is he or
she's
lifestyle. It is difficult to change that
person. But if someone gets angry by
mistake, that person can be
corrected but if it is his or her
nature, you have to think twice.
5. It is possible to mis-marry. It is
possible to be living with the wrong
man or woman. It is possible to be
dating the wrong person or be in
courtship with the wrong person.
6. Once your choice is right then
you are on the right track. How can a
lion
be married to a goat? what now
happens when the lion is hungry?
Any
man that beats his wife is likened to
the above illustration. Any woman
that
oppresses her husband is also
likened
to this scenario.
7. There are some people
that are
highly inflamable, please do not
take a
box of matches near them. What
this
means is that these people's hearts are made
of stone, giving them
your
soft heart in love is a mistake. They
will not value it.
8. Love may be blind to many, but
marriage will definitely open their eyes. Love
in reality is not blind
when
you start seeing those
unchangeable
signs during courtship please keep
off. When a man starts cheating on you when
dating, it is a sign that
he
will do much more when he is
married
to you. He or she may legally begin
to cheat on you because he is now
married legally to you.
9. Dating is not for outing alone,
dating is for knowing, watching
and
examining. Watch out for negative signs to
see if it can be dealt with,
if
it cannot be dealt with in courtship
it
may not change in marriage.
10. To get the right person, try to be
the right person. Work on yourself,
work on your flaws.
11 America and the western world
is plagued with divorce today because
they marry without paying
attention to
these facts listed above. They
marry
without knowing the person they are
marrying at least to a large extent.
12. Don't practice divorce before
you
get married. That is when you are
breaking relationships over and over
again, your emotion is also
affected in
the process. Wait for the right
person.
13. Don't marry because you cannot
enjoy your singlehood. If you are
happy being single, then you will
be
happy being married and if you
are not happy while still single......
14. Marriage is not an escape from
singlehood but marriage is actually
a graduation from
single hood...moving from writing simple
exams of life
to
writing another hard exams.
15. Do not rush into marriage
because
you are under pressure or you are feeling
you are the odd one out.
When
you are feeling everyone is getting
married except you then you are
making yourself becoming a
wrong person.....

Oke Adewunmi Up'stairs

YOU MIGHT THINK THE CONTENT OF THIS POST IS OUTDATED, BUT KINDLY NOTE THAT IT'S BY POPULAR DEMAND!

Oke Adewunmi Up'stairs writes:

"If I were a Final Year Student at this moment and I'm being asked to come up with 3 Project Topics for my Final Year Project; Guess what would be my likely topics.

1. AFTERMATH OF VAL. AMONGST YOUTHS IN THE THIRD WORLD NATIONS
(...a study of Nigerian Youth Populace)

2. VALENTINE'S DAY: THE GOOD, BAD, AND THE UGLY
(...a study of 'Segun, 'Jumoke and 'Labisi)

3. THE CONTRIBUTING IMPACT OF VAL. CELEBRATION ON THE RATE OF UNWANTED PREGNANCY DELIVERED IN THE MONTH OF NOVEMBER
(...a study of Pregnant Girls realized within February 14th and November)

God bear me witness; I go write!
I'm sure my Supervisor would be proud of me."

Ariwoola Temitayo

Relationship Problem: Money

Money problems can start even before the wedding vows are exchanged. They can stem, for example, from the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) recommends that couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances.

Problem-solving strategies:

Be honest about your current financial situation. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle is simply unrealistic.
Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both of you.

Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understand there are benefits to both, and agree to learn from each other's tendencies.

Don't hide income or debt. Bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, debts, and investments to the table.
Don't blame.

Construct a joint budget that includes savings.

Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills.

Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion.

Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It's OK to have individual goals, but you should have family goals too.

Talk about caring for your parents as they age and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs if needed.

Yours sincerely,
Dr Issues in Dating..

Ariwoola Temitayo

Relationship Problem: Struggles Over Home Chores

Most partners work outside the home and often at more than one job. So it's important to fairly divide the labor at home, says Dr issues, How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart.

Problem-solving strategies:

Be organized and clear about your respective jobs in the home,late,Bimbo Odukoya says. "Write all the jobs down and agree on who does what." Be fair: Make sure each partner's tasks are equitable so no resentment builds.

Be open to other solutions,If you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework, the other partner can do the laundry and the yard. You can be creative and take preferences into account -- as long as it feels fair to both of you.

Relationship Problem: Not Making Your Relationship a Priority

If you want to keep your love life going, making your relationship a focal point should not end when you say "I do." Karen Sherman, author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last says, "Relationships lose their luster. So make yours a priority."

Problem-solving strategies:

Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: Make gestures of appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other.

Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.
Respect one another. Say "thank you," and "I appreciate ...." It lets your partner know that he or she matters.