Knowing between the right relationship and wrong one have always been a dreadful rubbicorn to be addressed..it seems to be a stage of either being confused as to move on or resign the appointment from the relationship..
Here are vital and cogent talks and writtings you need to know...
One way for you to know if the relationship you’re in is right for you would be to go down through my list of “how to know when you should leave the relationship you’re in“, and if none of those characteristics apply to your relationship, you’re in pretty good shape! However, in my quest to keep things balanced (and positive), I wanted to write a little bit more about how you know when you’re in the right relationship.
First off, generally you just know. I had heard this for so long from other people in “right relationships” that it had become a cliche, and, not having ever experienced it, I had no way of knowing from my own experience whether or not it was actually true. However, now that I do experience it, I can tell you that there is an enormous qualitative difference in the way that you FEEL when you’re in the right relationship. You do “just know”. Maybe what you notice is the absence of “icky” feelings when you contemplate things like spending the rest of your life with this person. Or there’s a quality of your partnership that just makes sense. What I’m describing here are feelings that you’ll have with your “whole self” – and are sensed by your intuition, they’re not based in logical thought. Whether or not you have “that feeling” of knowing that you’re with the right person for you, keep reading if your logical mind is just craving a list to help you quantify whether or not the relationship you’re in is right for you.
You and your partner support each other in who you currently ARE. If you can do no wrong in your partner’s eyes, and your partner can do no wrong in your eyes, that’s a great start – assuming that the “do-no-wrongness” is based in how much you care about that person. In other words, if you can say “I support my partner in whatever they do because I care about them” then you are definitely with the right person. If you say “I support my partner in whatever they do because I don’t give a sh*t” – well, that’s not real support, that’s ambivalence.
You and your partner are not afraid of change in each other; in fact, you encourage each other’s growth. When your relationship is based on love and respect, you trust your partner’s growth. You recognize that it is part of human nature to continually evolve, create, and express. As you watch your partner’s “becoming”, you fall more and more in love with that person. You get excited when you come across things that you know will be interesting growth opportunities for your partner.
You and your partner have strong friendships outside of your relationship. You’re both meeting and getting to know cool people. When your partner meets someone really cool, you get psyched up knowing that there’s yet another cool person in your life.
You trust your partner to act in the best interests of your relationship. There are always choices to be made. Your choices and your partner’s choices support each other, and support your decision to be together. When there are tough decisions to be made, the two of you discuss your options openly, and you help each other arrive at the best decision.
Intimacy. You have it. On a physical, emotional, and spiritual level (and other levels, should you acknowledge them). Over time, you and your partner are getting to know each other more and more deeply. You learn to appreciate each other as physical beings. You discover more about what your partner cares about on an emotional level – what makes them happy, what obstacles they’re trying to overcome – and you reinforce the good, and do your best to help them in their quest to overcome whatever’s tough. Also, you nurture each other on a “soul” level. What I mean by that is that along with appreciating the manifestation of your partner, you recognize and honor something deeper about them, about the life force behind the body, the spirit that is making itself known in this physical world. And since they take the same interest in your spirit, your spirits are getting to know each other pretty darn well. And loving each other. That’s intimacy, in a nutshell.
Turns out that the list of things that make a relationship the “right” relationship is actually a lot shorter than the list of how to know when you’re NOT in the right relationship. The list of “not” characteristics could probably be infinitely long – but what makes a relationship a good relationship is quite simple. When you’re in the right relationship, you have a solid foundation that supports you throughout the dynamic of how you interact with your partner. Plus (and most importantly), it’ll feel right. You’ll know that it feels right because you won’t be second-guessing yourself anymore – instead, you’ll notice the absence of internal conflict when you’re around this person. When you’re in the right relationship, just being around your partner reinforces who you are, and what you were meant to do in this world. If you’re not in the right relationship, don’t despair – this planet is full of amazing people, and many of them are PERFECT for you. Get single and work on your own goals. The more true to yourself you can be, the more likelihood you’ll have of meeting someone in alignment with who you are.
If you are already in the right relationship – congratulations! Of course you knew before even reading this article, didn’t you? Perhaps you can think of a couple more ways to know when a relationship is right for you? Add them in the comments, or contact me behind-the-scenes.
ON ISSUES IN DATING,YOUR HAPPINESS IS OUR GLADNESS!!!!!!!!

BY ARIWOOLA TEMITAYO.O

 

2days ago,I was explaining some issues on issues in dating page..I remembered I stopped at BACKGROUND DIFFERENCES,while I promised to discuss the rest..
MODE OF COMMUNICATION
Death and life are in power of the tongue(pro 18:21)
Problems and differences in families do not become dangerous,unless you cannot talk about them.The inability to communicate these problems and differences puts the relatio...

nship in great danger.This can lead to a breakup in courtship if it is not addressed.
WHAT IS COMMUNICATION?
Communication in its. Functional definition can be described as a process of sharing either verbal or non verbal information with another person or group of persons in such a way that he or she or they understand what u are saying.In other words,for the act of communication to take place effectively,there has to be talking,listening,hearing and understanding.
A vital issues in communication is understanding.A message should be sent in such a way that it can be understood.We should be attentive(wth our whole being)so that we don't misunderstand.
Couples are always communicating,whether they utter words or not.Communication is more than you imagine it to be.Experts tell us that words comprise only about 7% of communication(messages sent)body language 55%,tone of voice 38%.How we say what we say,even wen we refuse to say anytin at all,carries a message which has a particular meaning to the perceiver,depending on how he or she perceives it.
Our tone of voice often distorts the messages we send.A raised voice,for instance,give a sarcastic meaning to a simple,how are you?especially wen unaccompanied by a bright face or a face or a smile.
When we say,I am sorry,in a curt and sharp way,it raises questions about the sincerity of our professed remose..
It is not just enough to say somthing.How it is said and how it finally comes across are equally important and need minding too.Your voice should be pleasant modulated at the right pitch to amplify the statement you are making.When people,especially women,listen they somtimes tend to hear what was not said,with the aid of non verbal inflections and intonations..
Communication is not complete until the other person perceives and understands the message.it is not just enough to pass on a message,verbally or otherwise;it is important that u get feed back.this will show you how much the other person has understood.
Communication experts say there are 6 indices you need to watch out for wen u communicate,especially with your patner..
WHAT U MEAN TO SAY
WHAt U ACTUALLY SaY
WHAT THE OTHER PERSON HEARS
WHAT THE OTHER PERSON SAYS ABOUT WHAT U SAID
WHAT U THINK THE OTHER PERSON SAID ABOUT WHAT U SAID..
This is why a lot of effort should go into communication.There is a need for the other person to hear and understand you,and for you to be sure that the message he or she picks up is exactly that which was intended.This calls for caution..Watch what u say.Think before you talk.....

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Deborah Jumoke Akinrinsola

A MUST READ)....... They both claim to be in love
for 5years. All through their relationship, the
guy kept insulting her, he beats her up
publicly, molestz her when she's not in the
mood. He also slept with her sister and
...

posted copies of her nude body all over the
campus. But the girl stood by him and loved
him even more. Her friends persuaded her
and tried to discourage her, but she kept
putting up with him and even helped him
excel inall his lectures and exams. On the final
day of graduation, the guy was to graduate
with a first class, a day filled with joy for her
and him. He sent her a text and told her ''the
relationship is over.'' ' How cruel some guys
can be! While waiting for his award at the
convocation ceremony. The girl walked up to
him and told him ''you are finished.'Immed
iately the VC announced and told the guy,his
papers were not found, that he never did his
registration during the admission process. He
had to start all over again after wasting 5
years of hadwork. However...The girl was the
brain behind the missing papers. How
heartless some girls can be! My question here
is, who is more heartless, THE GUY or THE
GIRL?

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Ariwoola Temitayo

Am sure lessons to be learnt this evening would be of benefit to those who flirt around and wished all ladies were theirs..Kola's case on issues in Dating was sent to my 2go ward,I felt sorry and shed tears as it was explained to me..
Am married and by his grace my marriage will be 2yrs soon..
During my school days,I hardly do wthout having sex at least 3 times in a week wth different ladies..this...

continued for years,am used to it,i feel incomplete wen I dnt ve sex in 3days..
I got engaged,there after this problm of fruit of the womb erupted,my wife couldn't conceived..all effort to solve d problm proved abortive as doctors frm different hospitals keep saying the problem comes frm my body..
Am so confused that I dnt know if its a spiritual or physical problem
What shd I do?can dis be from my past or what?

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Ariwoola Temitayo

Failure in marriage can derail your purpose.

The solution to divorce is not to get married for the 2nd time but a time to get more knoledge.

Age does not qualify you for marriage,it is knoledge
...

Love is not a gurantee that gurantees a sucessful marraige

The problem we face in relationship is not INTERPERSONAL bt INTRAPERSONAL

The problem of INTERPERSONAL is not as hard as INTRAPERSONAL one..

Marriage does not solve ur LONELINESS,it adds to ur LONELINESS

M-meet
A-A
N-Need

Many stones have been left unturned in issues,relationships,marriages,courtship.Many would take the less important as cogent while d salients ones were often touched last..many would say,it dosnt matter,wen we start living together,I can change him/her..Note this,if u can't change now,then u can't change tomorrow..
*BACKGROUND DIFFERENCES
*MODE OF COMMUNICATION
*CONFLICT RESOLUTION
*AND FORGIVENESS are matters that must not be slightly played with..Thus,this led to a critical research by Dr.Issues in Dating...
BACKGROUND DIFFERENCE
Prov.18:2,A fool hath no delight in understanding,but that his heart discover itself..
Ask urself if the problems u are facing right now are just the result of ur background difference,instead of a major incompatibility.Does your disagreement,for example,stem from small differences you can both work on,like table manners,mode of dress,or choice of exclamatory words?
These could trigger disagreement.Something like how birthdays should be celebrated,if at all,could pose a major problem in your marriage.it may depend on how it was done in your family wen u were growing up..these matters can be sorted out if background differences are taken into consideration..
Mind you,courtship is a time to strenghten out things,to lay a proper foundation.You need to take time to look into your intended spouse's background while u are courting.
How does he or she co exist with his or her family?
How does the father treat the mother?these may be the reasons why you are having problems you can't understand.How do they resolve their conflicts?how much liberty do the children have to express themselves?How does ur intended spouse treat his parents and siblings,or respond to them?what level of bond exists between parents,parents and children,children among themselves?How do they treat their domestic servant at ur present?Is ur intended wife's mother the bread winner of their family?Then she is likey to be a career concious wife.If her mother is d bread winner of the famiily,does she treat her husband with respect?there is every likelihood that ur intended spouse will respond similarly to you,given the same circumstances...
If ur wife to be comes frm a family where the mother always shouts the father down whenever he wants to talk,be careful.Chances are that she may have picked that up.If her mother engages in argument readily,u may have a bellicose wife to cope with.
Oro po ninu iwe kobo..did sm1 jst say hmmmn?same tin here.
A man whose father keeps late hours without seeing anytin wrong with it,will probably do the same.He will need the grace of God to make him behave differently..mind u,
YOUR FAMiLY BACkGROUND WILL NOT NECESSARILY DICTATE WAT UR MARRIAGE WILL BE.Both of u are going to decide how u want your marriage to be,with a lot of information of wat ur backgrounds have been like.Many compromises will have to be made.We look at our families and decide either to repeat the pattern,if our experiences were positive,or we try to create the opppsite..
While it is good,better,or even best to find sm1 whose background is reconcile with ur own,it is however,not impossible to live with a person from a different background.Both of u shd work on ISSUES,which are bound to arise as a result of ur different backgrounds.This is wat courtship ENTAILS. However, let him or her know how u feel about his or her background which is evident by the way he or she behaves or expects people to behave.Meanwhile,be careful not to be judgmental about this.It shd be an open,heart to heart talk,with neither of u attempting to put the other person down or make prescription about what is wrong or right.you are bound to RUN into trouble if u start seeing these differences as either right or wrong...
JOIN U SHORTLY FOR
MODE OF COMMUNICATION
CONFLICT RESOLUTION AND FORGIVENESS...

Yours sincerely,
Dr Issues

HOW CAN I ASK A LADY OUT?

 

 

While peeping tru my inbox now was an interesting post..I so much love the courage of the person to ve asked
such a cogent and salient question which many big boys out there shy of..
This is indeed very loving.Thus,motivated my curiosity to answering the question
UNCLE T,HOW CAN I ASK A GIRL OUT???
This isn't simple as many thought.I tell u,many would say I love u and wished a lady were his girl..jst like that?
What a childish means of asking a lady out..
I rmbered I once write in piece of paper for ladies...what an ages past....why not follow this simple process..

Gauge her interest. Is she making eye contact with you? Is she smiling, laughing and having a good time talking to you? If so, you're on the right track. What if she keeps looking at you because she's annoyed with you always looking at her? This is not a good sign, and the girl might be a little stressed herself. Make sure to keep your feelings about her private, and not so obvious.

2
Notice how often she touches you. If she's constantly trying to touch your hand or finds excuses to do so, then she's probably interested. However, don't assume that she doesn't like you if she isn't touching you. Likewise, don't start touching her if she isn't making contact with you. This usually scares or intimidates girls. If she won't even look at you, stay calm and find excuses to talk to her.
3
Observe how she looks at you. If she likes you, she will either hold your gaze for a long time or pull away immediately. Either of these signs could mean that she likes you. If you happen to glance at the girl and you see her staring back at you, then this means that she doesn't like you, or she does like you, although she may quickly dart her head in a different direction. If she's looking at you in a mean way, check your teeth. If she pulls away quickly, it could mean she is nervous but still likes you.

Remember that if you are having a conversation, girls tend to look at your face, so don't immediately assume that she likes you if you are speaking and she is simply listening. If you never talk to the girl, chances are you have a low chance of dating her. Friendships lead to loveship, but non-friendship leads to.... nothing.
Interact With Her

1
Look directly at her. While talking, make sure to look at her face and specifically her eyes. Pay attention to what she is saying so that when she asks you something or stops talking, you can continue the conversation intelligently. Don't get caught staring at her body. Very few women like this. If she doesn't look at you or she ignores you, back off, and leave her alone for a little. Some girls don't like looking boys in the eyes and talking. Read her body language.
2
Help her out. Offer to carry something heavy, get her lunch at the office or do something nice for her. If she refuses, then wait until she really needs help or comforting, like when she's feeling down and having a bad day. Be friendly and outgoing to her. If she walks away quickly, don't follow her or say, "What??" just keep on going.
Pop the Question

1
Make sure you look and smell nice. You don't need to get decked out in a suit and tie to ask a girl out, but make sure your clothes are clean and well-fit, that you've brushed your teeth and are wearing deodorant. You should never EVER wear the same clothes again, like you wear red sweatpants Monday, and then you wear them again on Tuesday.

2
Approach the girl you like. Don't worry about coming up with something overly clever. Simply say "Hi" or "Hey." As the conversation moves forward you can give her a complement or ask her a question.

If starting conversations is not your strong point,
3
Keep the tone casual and fun. Don't make the occasion seem like a big deal. Flirt a little! Relax, crack a joke, and break the touch barrier.

4
When the time is right, ask her for a date. Ask her to go the movies or something else you both would be interested in. You could also invite her out to happy hour at a bar you both enjoy. Try to make it original.

You might say: "I heard about this movie, _______. What do you think about it?" If she says she thinks it looks good, ask her if she'd like to go with you to see it. If she asks "As in a date?" say yes. Girls like guys who are sure of themselves much better than they do the cowardly guys.
5
Be confident. If she questions if you're asking her on a date, say yes. Girls like guys who are sure of themselves.

6
Be prepared for rejection. Keep your cool if she says no, smile and respond gracefully by saying, "No problem! Maybe another time." Change the conversation to something else or leave if you'd rather not hang around. Act as if you don't need her, because that sometimes will pique the interest of a girl. If she makes a face and yells, "Oh my gosh, no way!" this means that the girl is grossed out with you. Leave her alone and move wth ur life. Don't get your feelings too hurt though, this will leave you lifeless. Some girls just don't like this kind of stuff.

Good afternoon house,
Ariwoola temitayo of ISSUES IN DATINGHH

 

 

While peeping tru my inbox now was an interesting post..I so much love the courage of the person to ve asked
such a cogent and salient question which many big boys out there shy of..
This is indeed very loving.Thus,motivated my curiosity to answering the question
UNCLE T,HOW CAN I ASK A GIRL OUT???
This isn't simple as many thought.I tell u,many would say I love u and wished a lady were his girl..jst like that?
What a childish means of asking a lady out..
I rmbered I once write in piece of paper for ladies...what an ages past....why not follow this simple process..

Gauge her interest. Is she making eye contact with you? Is she smiling, laughing and having a good time talking to you? If so, you're on the right track. What if she keeps looking at you because she's annoyed with you always looking at her? This is not a good sign, and the girl might be a little stressed herself. Make sure to keep your feelings about her private, and not so obvious.

2
Notice how often she touches you. If she's constantly trying to touch your hand or finds excuses to do so, then she's probably interested. However, don't assume that she doesn't like you if she isn't touching you. Likewise, don't start touching her if she isn't making contact with you. This usually scares or intimidates girls. If she won't even look at you, stay calm and find excuses to talk to her.
3
Observe how she looks at you. If she likes you, she will either hold your gaze for a long time or pull away immediately. Either of these signs could mean that she likes you. If you happen to glance at the girl and you see her staring back at you, then this means that she doesn't like you, or she does like you, although she may quickly dart her head in a different direction. If she's looking at you in a mean way, check your teeth. If she pulls away quickly, it could mean she is nervous but still likes you.

Remember that if you are having a conversation, girls tend to look at your face, so don't immediately assume that she likes you if you are speaking and she is simply listening. If you never talk to the girl, chances are you have a low chance of dating her. Friendships lead to loveship, but non-friendship leads to.... nothing.
Interact With Her

1
Look directly at her. While talking, make sure to look at her face and specifically her eyes. Pay attention to what she is saying so that when she asks you something or stops talking, you can continue the conversation intelligently. Don't get caught staring at her body. Very few women like this. If she doesn't look at you or she ignores you, back off, and leave her alone for a little. Some girls don't like looking boys in the eyes and talking. Read her body language.
2
Help her out. Offer to carry something heavy, get her lunch at the office or do something nice for her. If she refuses, then wait until she really needs help or comforting, like when she's feeling down and having a bad day. Be friendly and outgoing to her. If she walks away quickly, don't follow her or say, "What??" just keep on going.
Pop the Question

1
Make sure you look and smell nice. You don't need to get decked out in a suit and tie to ask a girl out, but make sure your clothes are clean and well-fit, that you've brushed your teeth and are wearing deodorant. You should never EVER wear the same clothes again, like you wear red sweatpants Monday, and then you wear them again on Tuesday.

2
Approach the girl you like. Don't worry about coming up with something overly clever. Simply say "Hi" or "Hey." As the conversation moves forward you can give her a complement or ask her a question.

If starting conversations is not your strong point,
3
Keep the tone casual and fun. Don't make the occasion seem like a big deal. Flirt a little! Relax, crack a joke, and break the touch barrier.

4
When the time is right, ask her for a date. Ask her to go the movies or something else you both would be interested in. You could also invite her out to happy hour at a bar you both enjoy. Try to make it original.

You might say: "I heard about this movie, _______. What do you think about it?" If she says she thinks it looks good, ask her if she'd like to go with you to see it. If she asks "As in a date?" say yes. Girls like guys who are sure of themselves much better than they do the cowardly guys.
5
Be confident. If she questions if you're asking her on a date, say yes. Girls like guys who are sure of themselves.

6
Be prepared for rejection. Keep your cool if she says no, smile and respond gracefully by saying, "No problem! Maybe another time." Change the conversation to something else or leave if you'd rather not hang around. Act as if you don't need her, because that sometimes will pique the interest of a girl. If she makes a face and yells, "Oh my gosh, no way!" this means that the girl is grossed out with you. Leave her alone and move wth ur life. Don't get your feelings too hurt though, this will leave you lifeless. Some girls just don't like this kind of stuff.

Good afternoon house,
Ariwoola temitayo of ISSUES IN DATING

Many would say Doctor Issues has come again,though my post isn't more regular as before all in the name of sourcing for the real fact,nosing around and thus doing great, valuable interview.
This early piece is tagged DECISION MAKING..
One of the common mistakes people make in courtship is to assume that a courtship is sucessful only wen it ends in marriage.It is erroneous to think that the necess...

ary end to courtship is marriage.As such as we desire to graduate into marriage from courtship,a courtship that does not end in marriage is not a failed courtship.
No matter how perfectly matched a couple may appear,courtship is meant to address the question of affinity and the suitability of one for the other.It is a time to seek an answer to the question whether u are meant to be husband and wife.
If along the way u discover that u are really not meant to be together,and decide to go to ur seperate ways,rather than viewing the situation as failed courtship,I would have u see it as God that has answered your prayers.The courtship was a huge sucess.You are not meant to be husband and wife.God in his own way has saved you frm the costly mistake that living together would have been.That it may not be. The situation you prefer,does not change the fact that the courtship was sucessful,for it achieved its purpose
If you ve studied my writting well and thoughtfully,u shd have an idea of wat I say of how much work u need to do if u want to ve a happy married life.Am nt married!!!!get that.
Marriage is not a neceSsary end to courtship.in a good marriage.Marriage is not a destination.It is a journey of knowing each other better day by day..
If you focus on marriage rather than understanding and getting to ur patner with an open mind,the chances are that u are going to overlook or ignore tiny gaps in ur relationship that have the potential of becoming big gulfs in marriage.
Take a moment to reflect on the issues raised in my previous writings.These are very serious issues that could dtermine the way the rest of ur life turns out.Resolving these issues could be a prelude to the beginning of the rest of your life.Do not take them lightly by any means,your life could depend on it.......
WATCH OUT FOR THE REST..

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As at this morning,text,ping,flash came in asking the concluding part of a question I raised on this great page 2days ago on CAN THIS BE LOVE?
It took me an extra time to find a lasting answer to the question myself..
Out of a research work I did on it,Many said it was A STUPID LOVE Bola acted..
Many said in my interview,the last tin nvr to be done is to will their parents properties to their love...

d ones..
Things went apart as BOLA fell in love and willed her share of property to her husband...
It was an early inbox on my facebook ward 2days ago,I imagined if this can actually be true until I did a thorough research as an investigative journalist..as u are all aware post by Dr Issues himself would always go indepthly into knowing the right fact.

Bola in her HND1 met her love(Tunde)they tend to love each other cos I wouldn't want to eject my personal opinion...
2yrs after der meeting,bola had brought him for introduction to her parents...am frm a very rich family""Bola exclaimed""
The first day my dad saw him,he was displeased with him,he adviced strongly I leave him if our future is to be secured..
It got to a stage,daddy threatened to disown me if I dnt drop him..
Not quite long,my dad fell sick that took his breathe away from us(died).
This gave me more chance to further my relationship wth my guy..2yrs after,we wedded wth support frm my mum and other family members...
At my 8th mnth of pregnancy,I received the 1st ever thorough beating frm my husband,slap becomes my usual gift,embarrasment turned to my breakfast..
My husband changed to his original colour...
My baby was 3mnths wen my husband threw me out of the house we both built,he collected all the entrance keys to d house,collected my car keys too..
Life was horrible for me.I managed to rent a single room apartment where I live with my baby..
The most stupid act I did was that I INVESTED MY INHERITED WILL INTO HIS BUSINESS...
Am down,and need a rapid respond squard to give me vital comments...
Dr Issues,pls help me out...