They say money is the root of all evil, and it certainly can be when it comes to your relationship. Money can come between you and your partner and cause irreparable problems. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Couples building a life together have to answer this question: should we have a joint bank account, or should we not? It’s an issue that people tend to have strong opinions about, which is why it’s important to address the subject before you tie the knot.

Is there a right answer to the question? Not necessarily. But I do believe that the idea of a couple sharing a joint account just makes sense. When two people decide to share and build a life together, you should be sharing everything. The good and the bad. Agreeing to have a joint bank account speaks of a couple being completely unified, truly seeing themselves as one. The sense of trust in one another also seems stronger. You’re sharing finances, both of you having equal access to an account where all of your money is deposited. In my opinion, this demonstrates a solid faith in the life you’re planning together.
  This idea of unity is very important, and can help a couple feel closer. But that’s not the only benefit to having a joint account. Another major plus is that it forces you to be more accountable. When you realize that you have to make financial decisions with a partner, you’re not necessarily going to go on a spending spree because the money is shared and an explanation will be required. Or instead of splurging on a purchase, you will discuss it with your partner and decide together if that purchase is needed. And if you’re not the one likely to spend but your partner is, having a joint account will alert you to any potential financial problems. If your partner is spending huge amounts of money, you will know.
 You won’t be surprised when it’s too late. Another serious issue–and a huge point in favour of having a joint account–is the death of a partner. When one partner passes, having a joint account will eliminate much of the headache in accessing your money.
 There have been many cases where partners had separate accounts, and when one passed, that account was frozen.
If there is no Will, people have had to go to court and there’s still no guarantee that your partner’s financial assets will be passed to you at the end of what can be a long and expensive process.

Of course, there are some possible downsides to having a joint account. For some, the idea of having to be financially accountable to a partner will make them feel less independent
. If you’re used to being in charge of your own money, coming together with someone else and having to suddenly explain why you spent $100 here or $400 there might feel belittling to an extent. Perhaps it will also make you feel as though your partner doesn’t completely trust you. If you have a joint account, it’s important not to question the little expenses.

Have a dollar figure that you and your partner accept as okay for personal expenses. Obviously larger purchases will require discussion and a mutual decision, but each person in the relationship should not feel as though they have to ask a prison warden for access to their cash. If you or your partner is the type of person who sweats the small stuff–like a $50 purchase here or there–then perhaps having separate accounts is the best way to go. Some couples do believe in having separate accounts, and successfully run their houses this way.

 They either pay their share of the household expenses from their own accounts, or they have one joint account for the family while maintaining their own separate accounts that are autonomous.

 I don’t think this route is necessarily bad, but it does have its own flaws. For example, when I was married, and before my writing career took off, my husband and I had separate accounts, but did have a small joint account for some mutual expenses. Other than that, I had expenses that I paid monthly and he had expenses that he paid monthly.
Those expenses came from my account and his came from his. But I always felt a sense of inequity. I wasn’t making as much as he was, and there were months that I struggled to be able to even pay the bills from my separate account, and I felt as if I was not “contributing my share.” There wasn’t a sense of unity, that “what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine” sentiment–which was something I craved.

 Perhaps that’s why we’re divorced today. The negative side of having separate accounts is that you don’t always know what your partner is doing. One partner certainly can go on a spending spree that may affect your ultimate credit and the stability of your home without you knowing. And if you decide to divorce, you may not know what your spouse’s assets truly are. Trust me, I’ve heard the horror stories.

Hidden assets to reduce what your partner will have to split with you. You may have vowed to build a life together, but when people split, they can become very vindictive over money. While there is no right answer when it comes to how a couple handles their finances, I do believe that it’s ideal to have a joint account with your partner where the majority of your assets go. If you do maintain your own separate accounts, perhaps that should be for a negligible amount.

 A bit of spending money for shopping, doing your hair, going to a hockey game. From my own personal experience, having most of your money in a separate account while a small amount in the joint account for things like vacations just doesn’t feel like a unified marriage. Whatever you decide, the most important thing is to make that decision before you embark on your life together. Determine what kind of people you are when it comes to your finances.

Are both of you on the same page? Is one person perhaps a nitpicker? Does one have trust issues and would prefer to have independence regarding their finances? Money can cause irreparable problems in a relationship. Try to understand your partner’s motives before judging him or her as untrusting of you. Also, your decision doesn’t have to be set in stone.

 The decision you make at the start of your relationship doesn’t have to remain intact forever. You can always re-evaluate your feelings on the subject in the future. Because the last thing you want is for money to come between you when it doesn’t have to. Figure out what works best for you, and then move forward and be happy. Remember–money is only money, it doesn’t buy happiness, and it doesn’t buy love. And it certainly shouldn’t be the most important thing in your relationship.

DR ISSUES ARIWOOLA